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Walter
Walter, Relationship Mentor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 11528
Experience:  Mentoring couples on relationship issue and self understanding. (JA's Relationship Mentor)
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Ok I recently contacted my ex boyfriend from college. We hung

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Ok I recently contacted my ex boyfriend from college. We hung out the other night and hooked up....I was excited and nervous and wanted to tell him that I still have feelings for him. I sent him a text and briefly told him that I was still into him and regretted some choices that I had made with him in the past. I also told him that I didn't expect anything from him and that I would like to keep in touch better than we have. I basically told him that I just wanted him to know how I felt and was sort of hoping that he would want to test out a relationship again. We dated for 3ish years and I was happy with him. I was just in college and partying and wasn't ready to settle down just yet. He is 3 years older than me and at the time we were together, I just wasn't ready. Now I regret it.

This is what he sent back: "I think living almost an hour apart makes it tough. I am single at the moment and I am happy. We need to stay in contact better than we have the last four years. If it is meant to be then something will happen. But also it may not. There are good things about us but its not fair to either of us now at this instant. We have the physical attraction down but not the emotional and mental aspects probably."
What the heck does that mean?????????
Then he told me that I was worried too much about it and that I didn't need to be nervous around him.....I just don't know what to do now. Do I let him make the next move? Do you think he is even interested in me any longer?????

I do feel like in one word he is saying he is happy single , yes, but then in the next he is saying that there are good things about us and that sometihng might happen. I feel like he doesn't know what to do....probably afraid to deal with me again since I left him the first time around but I mean, I think the fact that he came running when I contacted him should mean something!! No? Am I wasting my time? I just feel like if I have been thinking about him years later then maybe I should give it a try but I feel like it might be too late.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Walter replied 5 years ago.

Hello,

 

He means basically what he is saying, that right now he is not interested in a relationship. He is happy where he is in life, and does not want anything to change it. What he is telling you is he had a good time with you, and that while he does like you he wants to take things slow. Basically instead of looking at this as a soon to be relationship, just take it as it goes and see what happens. He is telling you that he does not want to be in a relationship, but he is not opposed to seeing you again and if something happens then great, if not then so be it.

 

Right now the ball is in his court, you need to wait it out and see if he contacts you again. Give it a week or two and if you hear nothing back send him a text asking him if he wants to go out sometime for dinner or something.

 

What I can tell you is make sure this does not become a situation where he calls and you come running for sexual activities. While I am not saying he is one of those guys, the reality is he has plainly told you he isn't interested in a relationship and since you did hook up the last time he could have it in his head that hooking up is good enough for you. It sounds like this is not what you are looking for so make sure you keep your eyes open and make sure this is not what it turns into.

 

If he wants to get together again make sure it is a date, if things become intimate again that is fine if that is what you want. Just make sure it does not fall into something that you are not looking for.

 

Walter

Walter, Relationship Mentor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 11528
Experience: Mentoring couples on relationship issue and self understanding. (JA's Relationship Mentor)
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