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Walter, Relationship Mentor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 11528
Experience:  Mentoring couples on relationship issue and self understanding. (JA's Relationship Mentor)
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how do you fall in love with a girl you use to love.and be

Customer Question

how do you fall in love with a girl you use to love.and be informed that she is stll my girlfriend and she is living with me and we have a kid.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Walter replied 7 years ago.



Falling in love with someone is not something you can force, you either feel it or you don't. Though the good news is you can work on the reasons why you feel you no longer love her. All relationships have their ups and downs and there are going to be times when you feel like the love is lost.......that does not necessarily mean that you are not still in love with her, it just means that for some reason you are not feeling the same feelings you used to.


You must sit down and address what it is that is causing this. Are you fighting allot? If so then then you need to sit down and talk with her and let her know that the fighting has to stop. Come up with a game plan on how you want to deal with arguments in the future. The key is communication..........when something happens instead of arguing about it you should sit down and talk about it.


The biggest thing you need to do is address why you feel the way you do. If its attraction then ask yourself why you are not attracted to her. If its sex then sit down and talk to her about the problems. The fact is unless you can talk to her about the problem it is going to be difficult to work this out.


Next you need to work on these problems, since you have a child together it is imperative that you decide where you want to go from here. Spending more time together just having fun will help. Often when a relationship falls into a rut you stop being friends and lovers, the key is to find that. Go back and do the things you used to do before you had a child. That means date nights, maybe a mini vacation at a hotel. Dinner and the movies etc. Bring her flowers and show her that you care.....spend more time getting to know her. This means talk more and cuddle more before being intimate with each other.


I would also suggest that you both go to relationship counseling. The fact is all relationships get into a rut like this and one if not both parties begin to question if they even love each other. The fact is the love may still be there...........its just a matter of working to find it and putting it back together.


Expecting it to just happen is not going to work......if you care about her and want to make this work then you have to buckle down and fix the reasons why you are unhappy right now. Of course I don't know all the details but you know deep down what the main problems are that have brought you to this place. Fix those problems and work on spending time together and you will find that love is still there just waiting on you both to wake it up.




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