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Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21055
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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I have been out with this guy twice in the past 6 days whom

Customer Question

I have been out with this guy twice in the past 6 days whom I met through the internet. We clicked and I have never felt so comfortable in a guy's company for a long time. He was emailing me back and forth but my gut feeling is that he is or has lost interest or I could be analysing this too much. There was a very strong physical attraction there which was never acted upon. Since Sunday there has been some texting going on but I asked him if he thought was patronising to him and he said yes (some messages of help in finding his missing livestock was offered by me that day). I wasn't patroning him by was sincere in my offer even though it may have been too forward of me. I apologised and he said 'don't worry as we have all have our own way of saying things X'. He asked if I was not on speaking terms with him after that and I said I am speaking to you. I feel so awkward now that the texts are infrequent from both me and him and I am reluctant to ring him just to say hi. What do you think
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 7 years ago.
Hi again,Customer

When you first begin a new relationship, especially one that stemmed from an internet meeting, you need to take it slowly. You clicked at first, and that was great, but you really don't know all that much about each other, so you still have a lot of exploring to do, of each other's likes and dislikes, understand how you each express yourselves, when you're being serious or trying to be funny, etc.

If you feel what you said re: helping him was misinterpreted, I'm glad you got this 'vibe' and asked him about it, and he answered you honestly.

If you like him and want more of a relationship to develop, you have nothing to lose by just ringing him to say 'Hi', or even texting or emailing. You can only know how to proceed, once he answers you.

I hope things do work out for you, and just keep in mind that taking it slowly will be best. Show you're interested, but don't over do it.

Cher
Customer: replied 7 years ago.

Hi Cher,

 

Well i left a message on the phone saying 'hi it's A and sure i just rang to have a chat and catch up. You have my number to give me a ring, bye'.

 

Shortly afterwards he text he say that 'he was not interested'.

 

I replied 'I wish you well'

 

I've analysed what I said and did wrong and don't more what I could have done, I'm always getting hurt and disappointed, it's so disheartening.

Expert:  Cher replied 7 years ago.
Hi again, and thanks for your reply.

I'm glad you finally rang him and now you have 'closure' and don't have to worry about what he's thinking or if/when he will call. You did nothing wrong. If he said he was not interested, he was truthful, now you know, and you will move on with your life and date others.

You may feel you're always getting hurt and becoming disappointed, but keep in mind, it takes two people to make a couple, so YOU are not necessarily the one who is always doing something wrong. It depends on the people you're meeting, too.

All you can do from now on, is learn from your past experience and use that knowledge in your next relationship. We, as humans, will always be doing something not exactly right, but as long as we learn and take that information to other situations, we're fine.

Meeting people online is a great resource these days, but remember, you need to take the time to get to know the person quite well, before progressing in the relationship. Perhaps you're expecting too much, too soon, or you're throwing too much of yourself into the relationship too quickly. First, become 'friends'; get to know the guy, and allow him to get to know you. Take it slowly, and use everything you learned from past relationships to try to consciously not make the same mistakes. Granted, you'll make new ones, but that's because you're human.

Don't let this one incident get you down. Put it past you and move on to new and exciting things.

I wish you much good luck.

Cher
Cher and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 7 years ago.

Hi Cher,

 

5 days ago he text me and apologised and stated that he wanted to see me again upon his return from holiday. I accepted his apology and said yes if ' you want to see me then get in touch when you return'. He said that he would for sure. The following evening he sent me another text just generally asking how I was but I didn't receive and reply to this until the following morning. There has been no further contact with him since then but that's ok with me because he's away and enjoying himself no doubt. He deserves it because he is an extremly hard worker which is one of the attributes I do admire about him. I have deleted his number so I won;t be tempted to make contact. I belive the only way I know for sure if he's interested is if he is to make contact now as I can't which is good. I know this is hard to say but do you think he will make contact?

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