replied 7 years ago.
Hi again, Kathy, and you're most welcome.
Thanks for your reply with more information.
It sounds like she may have time and money, but she is mentally unbalanced. She's using HIM and his physical/emotional conditions, to manipulate him to do what she wants. She sounds like a sadistic, egotistical, selfish person who wants him to be her 'puppet', do her bidding, be there when it's convenient for HER, and not think about anyone but herself.
If he now has his most important personal belongings, i.e. his meds, clothes, etc., he should no longer be making trips to pick up anything he left at her place. He can either do without whatever he left there, or ask her to mail it (which she probably won't agree to), or ask a friend to get it for him. 60 miles is a good distance, considering she can't see him or meet with him every day, and it's a real pain for him to go there, to pick up anything, but you can tell him although it's true, you're not married, you ARE in a relationship together for 9 years, you have helped him through some very rough times, you've been there for each OTHER, and out of respect for you, he should not continue any communication or personal contact with her.
If he's getting his meds from a psychologist, psychiatrist, counselor or therapist, and he is not currently having sessions with that professional in person, I think this would be a good idea, at this time. He needs to talk this out with an experienced counselor or therapist who specializes in bipolar disorder and depression, and who will help him see that she is not good for him, and is causing him additional problems.
She really sounds like a mentally unbalanced person, and he needs to stay away from her. He had a temporary lapse in judgement, moving in with her, to begin with, and I'm glad he saw the error of his ways, and you were kind enough to help him move back with you.
All you can do now, is try to reason with him, and make him see that she doesn't care anything about him, and that she was and is, only using him, and he needs to make the break from her, permanent. If possible, have him change his cell phone number or get a disposable one, temporarily, and block her email address, if she's communicating in this way, too, so she can't find him. I hope she doesn't know where you live and plans to come knocking on your door. I'm not mentioning this to alarm you, just so you can take precautions; I really think she sounds dangerous.
Cher and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you