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Walter
Walter, Relationship Mentor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 11528
Experience:  Mentoring couples on relationship issue and self understanding. (JA's Relationship Mentor)
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Hi, myself and my boyfriend have just broke up. We were together

Resolved Question:

Hi,
myself and my boyfriend have just broke up. We were together living with each other and have a dog for a year and a half.
Recently we have had alot of arguments, some of which were heated, my boyfriend is not confrontational and he is confused how he feels about me, he does not want a future of arguments.
I discovered that an issue from my childhood that I never faced up to may be the underlying reason why I fight so bad, I don't trust him or his word. I am now seeking counseling for this, and my boyfriend wanted to give us time to see how we;d get on, but he was distant and I needed him more then ever cause of the counseling so I ended it....thinking that is what he would have ended up doing anyways.
We were both very emotional saying good bye. he has been in touch with my friend asking if I am ok since.
Is there hope for us? can I convince him that the couselling will help me and we won't need to argue like before? I love him and want him back.....:(
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Walter replied 5 years ago.

Hello,

 

There is always hope........when both parties still love each other. It sounds like your relationship was pretty intense and he wasn't ready for a future filled with these kinds of arguments. The fact that he is still asking about you shows that he still cares which is a good thing.

 

I would suggest keeping in contact, if you are still not ready because of the counseling then let him know that. Let him know that you still love him and are hoping that one day soon you will be ready to try to be the person you want yourself to be. Then keep in friendly contact.....this could be weekly phone calls, lunch dates or emails. Just keep the lines of communication open and allow things to take the natural course.

 

If your ready now then let him know, one huge recommendation though is to take it slow. Restarting a failed relationship is not always easy....many fail simply because both parties try to pick up where they left off which is impossible since you both have changed.

 

Let him know that you would love the chance to sit down and talk. Maybe go to dinner and let him know where you are in your own personal growth and where you want to go from here. Ask him if he is willing to take some small steps towards getting to know each other again........dating and spending time together is a great way to do this. Then take it one step at a time. It sounds like you both still want to try and make this work, which is fine as long as you accept that you are still a work in progress and continue with your counseling and working on where you need to be with yourself.

 

Walter

Walter, Relationship Mentor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 11528
Experience: Mentoring couples on relationship issue and self understanding. (JA's Relationship Mentor)
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