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Cher , Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 20764
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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I am a 59 year old male, never married and am without any close

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I am a 59 year old male, never married and am without any close living family. I have been spending Christmas in Buenos Aires for the past five years with a young married couple who are friends of mine. I usually stay in a nearby hotel about aXXXXXaway. Last Christmas I went over to my friends' apartment on Christmas Eve. There were three other friends of theirs there also. We stayed up all night, eating, drinking, talking and opening gifts. At dawn we all went up on the roof to watch the sunrise. When we came downstairs the other guests all said they were going to crash in my friends spare room before returning home. My one friend said he would walk me out to get a taxi back to my hotel. I did not want to return to my hotel on Christmas morning along, knowing everyone else was nice and snug back in my friends apartment. I went back to the hotel but was unable to sleep. I love my friends and I am invited back next Christmas, but don't know if I could bear that again!
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 7 years ago.
HiCustomer and thanks for using Just Answer.

Just a few questions for you:

Were the three other friends you mention, staying at the young married couple's apartment or did they live nearby and just decide to crash there, because it was late, they were invited to spend the night, etc.?

Did you consider staying at your friends' place and then feel you were being ushered out, to get a taxi back to your hotel; in other words, if you had felt like spending the night/Christmas morning, would you have been welcome, and did they have enough room for you?

Did you choose to stay at a hotel because their place isn't that big, you felt more comfortable, and didn't want to impose? Were you ever invited to stay with them in their home?

Thanks for all your additional detail.


Customer: replied 7 years ago.
The other three friends were not staying at the apartment as guests. They just decided to crash their the next morning until they drove back to their respective home. I always stayed in a hotel but this was the first time when I did our Christmas Eve ritual that the other people who were there decided to stay for a few hours in the morning instead of returning home. I have a problem with feeling left out or the only one on the outside looking in. I just wanted to be a part of that scenario that Christmas morning, instead of returning back to my hotel room alone. When my friend was walking me to the highway to get a taxi and I told him how I felt he responded "this is not my problem."
Expert:  Cher replied 7 years ago.
Hi again, and thanks for your reply with additional information about your situation.

I'm surprised your friend responded to you in that way, when you communicated that you would prefer not to be alone at the hotel, and/or felt left out. If you're close with him, that was really quite an unexpected response. He should have invited you to stay, even if you crashed on the couch, once you made your feelings known.

It might be a good idea, if this year, before you make your plans to go to Buenos Aires, you make up with your friends in advance (if this is what you want), to ask if you can stay one night (Christmas Eve) at their home, and return to your hotel room later on Christmas Day. In the past, did you do that--spend Christmas Eve with them, go back to your hotel, and then return to their home on Christmas Day, itself, to have dinner, etc.?

While I understand your feeling of being left out, if you had already eaten, partied, opened gifts, watched the sunset from the roof, etc., and it was already past dawn, if you were to return to your hotel to get some needed sleep and then the plan was to return to your friend's home later that day, you were still being included in the celebrations, just not sleeping there. Did the other friends go home after they crashed in the guest room, or did they stay the day to continue celebrating Christmas? I understand completely, how you felt, and I would have felt the same way.

Although you have no close living family, do you have any close friends with whom you could plan to celebrate the holidays, nearer to where you live? If so, maybe it would be a good idea to make plans with those friends to celebrate together, perhaps, stay over Christmas Eve, into Christmas Day, and forego the trip to Buenos Aires this year. The most important thing is to be with people you like and feel comfortable with, to celebrate the holiday.

Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 20764
Experience: Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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