How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Cher Your Own Question

Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 18709
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
1470369
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Cher is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I am a 59 year old male, never married and am without any close

Resolved Question:

I am a 59 year old male, never married and am without any close living family. I have been spending Christmas in Buenos Aires for the past five years with a young married couple who are friends of mine. I usually stay in a nearby hotel about aXXXXXaway. Last Christmas I went over to my friends' apartment on Christmas Eve. There were three other friends of theirs there also. We stayed up all night, eating, drinking, talking and opening gifts. At dawn we all went up on the roof to watch the sunrise. When we came downstairs the other guests all said they were going to crash in my friends spare room before returning home. My one friend said he would walk me out to get a taxi back to my hotel. I did not want to return to my hotel on Christmas morning along, knowing everyone else was nice and snug back in my friends apartment. I went back to the hotel but was unable to sleep. I love my friends and I am invited back next Christmas, but don't know if I could bear that again!
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 5 years ago.
HiCustomer and thanks for using Just Answer.

Just a few questions for you:

Were the three other friends you mention, staying at the young married couple's apartment or did they live nearby and just decide to crash there, because it was late, they were invited to spend the night, etc.?

Did you consider staying at your friends' place and then feel you were being ushered out, to get a taxi back to your hotel; in other words, if you had felt like spending the night/Christmas morning, would you have been welcome, and did they have enough room for you?

Did you choose to stay at a hotel because their place isn't that big, you felt more comfortable, and didn't want to impose? Were you ever invited to stay with them in their home?

Thanks for all your additional detail.

Cher

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
The other three friends were not staying at the apartment as guests. They just decided to crash their the next morning until they drove back to their respective home. I always stayed in a hotel but this was the first time when I did our Christmas Eve ritual that the other people who were there decided to stay for a few hours in the morning instead of returning home. I have a problem with feeling left out or the only one on the outside looking in. I just wanted to be a part of that scenario that Christmas morning, instead of returning back to my hotel room alone. When my friend was walking me to the highway to get a taxi and I told him how I felt he responded "this is not my problem."
Expert:  Cher replied 5 years ago.
Hi again, and thanks for your reply with additional information about your situation.

I'm surprised your friend responded to you in that way, when you communicated that you would prefer not to be alone at the hotel, and/or felt left out. If you're close with him, that was really quite an unexpected response. He should have invited you to stay, even if you crashed on the couch, once you made your feelings known.

It might be a good idea, if this year, before you make your plans to go to Buenos Aires, you make up with your friends in advance (if this is what you want), to ask if you can stay one night (Christmas Eve) at their home, and return to your hotel room later on Christmas Day. In the past, did you do that--spend Christmas Eve with them, go back to your hotel, and then return to their home on Christmas Day, itself, to have dinner, etc.?

While I understand your feeling of being left out, if you had already eaten, partied, opened gifts, watched the sunset from the roof, etc., and it was already past dawn, if you were to return to your hotel to get some needed sleep and then the plan was to return to your friend's home later that day, you were still being included in the celebrations, just not sleeping there. Did the other friends go home after they crashed in the guest room, or did they stay the day to continue celebrating Christmas? I understand completely, how you felt, and I would have felt the same way.

Although you have no close living family, do you have any close friends with whom you could plan to celebrate the holidays, nearer to where you live? If so, maybe it would be a good idea to make plans with those friends to celebrate together, perhaps, stay over Christmas Eve, into Christmas Day, and forego the trip to Buenos Aires this year. The most important thing is to be with people you like and feel comfortable with, to celebrate the holiday.

Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 18709
Experience: Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
Cher and 3 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 

Related Relationship Questions