How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask KimberlyF Your Own Question

KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
1572083
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
KimberlyF is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I am 36 years old and have been dating my boyfriend for about

Resolved Question:

I am 36 years old and have been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half. We had been friends for about a year before anything intimate evolved. Just after our relationship changed, he moved to another city out of the state. Shortly thereafter, I was laid off from my job. We decided that I should move in with him out of state as a sort of trial for living together. After I moved up with him, he, too, was laid off from work. During the time we lived together, we had a blast and loved our time together. After the lease was up on our apartment, he decided to move back to Colorado, his home town. I have been living with my parents in Florida, my hometown, since then. He really wants me to move to Colorado with him and I miss him terribly. If my family wasn't a thought, I would move out in a heartbeat. However, I am having such difficulty leaving my mom. I want the lifestyle that he and I can have in Colorado, but hate leaving my family. I would appreciate any advice.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

-Why are you having such a problem leaving your mother and family? Is she in ill health?

 

-How did your mother live without you when you and he lived to together?

 

-How does your mother feel about you possibly leaving?

 

As soon as I get a reply with more information I will be better able to give you the answer you need.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

My mother and I have always been VERY close. She is my best friend. She is not in ill health nor is she in any way a concern. She is married to a wonderful man, my stepfather. I just feel I will miss her terribly and would live close to them if my boyfriend were not in the picture.

 

While I lived in Georgia, she was very sad in the beginning, but fine after awhile. I was very homesick in the beginning, too, but fine after awhile and had a blast with my boyfriend. Georgia was much closer (a quick car ride) to home, though. Colorado is across the country. I think, psychologically, that makes it much different for us both.

 

My mother and family LOVE my boyfriend and are accepting of me moving away. I just know that it is very overwhelming for her and for me. If I decide to move to CO, it could mean that eventually we start a family and it would, most likely, be there. That, too, makes me sad as I would love to have my mother close to me for that time in my life.

Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

If you know for a fact that this is the man you want to be with then you have to follow your heart and then deal with the heartbreak of being so far from your family like you said your mother is sad at first but I'm sure her and the family only want for you to be happy and if that means leaving and going across the country for that happiness they would much rather want that than for you to be there in Florida and be miserable without your boyfriend. You don't want to look back years from now and regret any decision that you made as far as your boyfriend is concerned like what if you stayed in Florida but in the end lost your relationship with the boyfriend because you grew apart because of the distance. Even if you were to move to Colorado it's not like you will never see your family again make that your yearly vacation to visit your family and friends back home. There are many people that move far away from home for work or other reasons because of the economy and although it's a huge adjustment and hard to get used to but they do because they want a better life for themselves.

 

The question you have to ask yourself is do you care about your partner and are you committed enough to make such a drastic move and leave all that you've known for your whole life or at least a good portion of your life? If you've moved around a lot, this transition won't be such a big deal. You'll be used to pulling up your roots and starting all over again, but if you're not used to it, you could have a problem and you'll need to work on adjusting to your new location. Have you thought about your job or means of supporting yourself? This is another big factor that needs to be considered? Would it be easy for you to get a job in the new location where he lives? Love is awesome and being in love is such a great experience. When that love has grown into something greater, it's such an exciting time in your life. Deciding to relocate for love will take a good deal of soul searching and reality checking, but if you are truly in love with you mate, it could be worth the time and effort to relocate and adjust to the new location.

 

Remember that your family only wants what is best for you and makes you happy and though they will miss you they will be happy as long as you are happy. You can visit each other after some time and saved money so it's not like it's totally impossible to see your family again and allow them to share in your joy of children and marriage if that is what you choose and nowadays there are so many ways to communicate long distance, phones, cell phones and texting, computer cams, video voice messaging, it's almost like you are close but really aren't. Don't let this opportunity get away, don't end up living with regrets for not going for love and even though you family makes you happy want to have love and commitment and possibility of children.

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
KimberlyF and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Counselor
KimberlyF
KimberlyF
Counselor
750 Satisfied Customers
Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com