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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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I am currently married, my wedding was just May 31. I am already

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I am currently married, my wedding was just May 31. I am already in the process of a divorce because I realized I was not in love with my husband. I also realized I was still in love with my daughters father, Adam. Adam and I have been apart for 9 years. I guess I burried those feelings in hopes they would go away. Deep down I always thought we would get back together but seeing as it has been so long I guess I just kind of gave up. He told me he was happy for me when I got married and was glad I found someone. He always told me he loved me and always would. I just never really though he meant in a romantic way. We spoke about my troubles with my husband and I realized I still loved Adam and always had. He told me he loved me too. I must make you understand Adam has nothing to do with me ending my relationship with my husband, John. I am just not in love with him. I just need to know if Adam and I could make a new relationship after being apart so long?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 7 years ago.


There is always a chance of reconnecting with a past love especially if they share a child together and are there for the child they sometimes find themselves falling back in love with each. What I suggest to you is to take things slowly at least until you can find closure in your marriage. It's good that he return the feelings that you have for him it will make it easier to take the relationship to the next level when the time comes to do so but make sure that you can give him your full attention which means leaving your husband and getting rid of any emotional baggage you may have with him.

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
We already filed for divorce and are in the process. I have no intentions of staying in a relationship I am not happy with. The more pressing issue is Adam, my daughters father was diagnosed with being bipolar, not that is a problem for me now but then it was because we didnt know or understand what was going on and he has been pretty much in and out of our lives for 9 years and I guess I have abandonment issues. I am so happy when he is around and can't stop smiling but when he leaves I have anxiety attacks. I know what they are because I been having them since I am a child and am taking meds for it. I just dont know if I could allow myself to trust him. He suggested relationship counseling and I agreed 100%. He sees a therapist and I also think I should see one on my own as well as us as a couple. Do you think that is a good idea and do you still think we have a chance?
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 7 years ago.


Couseling is a very good idea but it's important for you to do individual counseling first and then couples counseling later if need be if you do both at the same time it will be overwhelming and time consuming. You will have a much better chance at making it work if you work on your individual issues first and then if you still feel you need couples counseling then consider it after that because individual counseling may help with the trust issues and then you won't need the couples counseling.

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