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Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21218
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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i ve been married for 6 years i have not been happy for 3

Resolved Question:

i 've been married for 6 years i have not been happy for 3 of those years its getting worse, she is controling, and very lazy the only reason i have stayed this long is b/c in KY a judge will give custody to a woman before a man, and unless she agrees to give me joint custody i wont get to see my daughter. she is 5 my pride and joy and i couldnt make it without her. She is a daddys girl any one will tell you an di know she'd be crushed if she could not see me. my question is should i wait til she 13 when she can deciede or should end it now.?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 7 years ago.

If you are that unhappy, there would be no point in staying in the marriage for another 8 years (long time), for the sake of your daughter. Your daughter will 'feel' the tensions and know mom and dad are not happy and this will negatively impact her.

The judge decides on joint custody, not the mom, and if you are an upstanding citizen and good father, there's no reason you should not get joint or 'shared' custody and get to see your daughter on a steady basis, as your divorce lawyer will work out in the final agreement. Fight to see your daughter as often as possible, and stress this to the attorney representing you.

If you can stay in the marriage for another 8 years and not be miserable, but feel your daughter really needs you and you need her, that's a personal decision. If you're not 'technically' divorced, but legally separated, you can still see your daughter often, if you should decide to live elsewhere; however, don't just move out, without first consulting a lawyer, because then, that may be considered 'abandonment', which is not good for your case.

I hope all works out well for you and your daughter.

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