replied 7 years ago.
Hi again, Alexie, and thanks for your reply with some additional information about your situation.
While I feel, from your description, that he IS being genuine and he does care for you, the fact that you barely speak, have not seen each other very often, and had just met in April, before his big project started in May, what sort of relationship do you really have? It's important to consider this, because, if he has no time to see you/speak to you, and is all-consumed with work, there's a possibility things will always be like this. Let's project (imagine) into the future---you finally get together, you feel you're in love with each other, you get married--it seems work will always come first, to the exclusion of you. A relationship/marriage is a partnership and each partner needs to contribute, equally. Realistically, due to different occupations and other outside factors,
sometimes one partner does have more work obligations than the other, but have you heard the expression: "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy"? If he NEVER (or rarely) has the time, strength or desire to at least speak to you, over such a long period of time, think about what you really 'have', now.
While I understand you feel strongly about each other and would like to make it work, due to the current (and I believe, what will be 'ongoing') circumstances, I don't think there's much of a future with him, as things stand, now. He really can't make a relationship work if he is not 'present' in it.
My advice to you for the time being, is not to continue to put your life on hold for him and his rigorous work schedule. Continue to keep him as an 'option' to date, when he may have the time, but if you would like to meet other men, and start dating, you should not give up a social life or male companionship because you're waiting for him. You may feel like you are in a 'relationship', but truly, you are not. Relationships include communication and in person 'face' time, and you are not receiving any of this.
While I'm not saying he's not being honest with you, because of the fact that you don't live near each other and because he says his work takes up all of his time, you really can't verify if this is true. It's just hard to believe that a man would not make time to speak to a woman he cares for, despite not having the time in his schedule to see you in person. Think about it and think about your busiest day. There are mealtimes, there are five minutes right before bed, when you can speak to someone by phone, or email or text. He may be 'hardworking', and that is admirable, but to have work take up every minute of every day, for so many months, is just not plausible. I would not like to think that you are being taken advantage of, and being asked to 'wait', until he's ready or has the time to speak to you/see you. But, I would be suspicious of what he's telling you, and not to make a big deal of it with him, but for your own happiness, if you want to, you could start dating some more local men who will 'be there' for you, and let him call when he calls and when he proposes your next meeting, whenever, you might or might not be available.
I'm not suggesting you 'play games' or make him jealous; not in the least. He needs to understand that what he's doing to you re: asking you to 'wait' for him, is not fair to you and if you also feel it's not fair, you need to start dating others. You can decide if you want to develop more of a serious relationship with any of the men you date, or not, but I don't think waiting around for his work schedule to let up, which may never happen, is contributing to a satisfying relationship for you.
There's no denying you're in a difficult situation, but I hope some of my views/suggestions have helped you, and whatever you decide and whatever happens in the future, will make you happy, because remember, above all, you deserve happiness.
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