If you have had counseling and talked to him about everything then there isn't much you can do after that usually counseling is the last resort in a marriage to see if it is make or break time. It may take you leaving for him to see that you are serious, you are right he is taking what his ex wife did out on you and he may be thinking I'm tired of taking care of someone and wants someone to now take care of me. That is never a way of thinking especially in this economy and the way it is now, even though things aren't necessarily great, you can not allow this to give you negative outlook on your marriage because he's going to turn right around and give you negative vibes right back. Acting in a positive manner especially with your actions and your words will allows you to model how you want him to act, but it paints you in as positive light also. Meaning it's showing that you care what happens to your lives and your marriage.
Depending on his age he could be going through a midlife crisis also, men who go through a midlife crisis usually are rethinking their future and what they want out of it usually not considering those around them, they want to feel younger and do things they like to do instead of what is best for him and his family though he doesn't have all of the classic signs, the new sports car, working out to get a younger body, needing attention from younger women, he is showing one classic sign usually a man in a midlife crisis want changes in their life especially their job. What you may need to do is sit him down and explain to him the bills that you have and how much money you make and ask him if he wants better for his life than living off of his unemployment compensation, he may feel he needs a break and was feeling burnt out but that isn't feasible with this economy. It isn't fair for you to work hard and him just sit around feeling sorry for himself. You may have to do something that you may not want to do and that is give him an ultimatum to have a job within a certain period of time or you will leave and get your own place.
That may be your last resort if counseling did not work then this may be all you have left to do and knock him back into reality. While getting deeper and deeper into debt and the loss of a job adds to the difficulty of becoming financially secure, there are always steps you can take to improve your current situation. Budgeting is one of the ways you can cope with your husband being out of work. There has been many couples who have sought counseling on the subject that had a budget, but could not communicate very well with each other and share the responsibility of getting out of debt and improving their financial position, write down possible solutions for each problem separately. This is very important, because if you do not take each area separately, it will begin to seem too difficult a task to fix. You need to set up a budget, discuss what you are spending on a daily basis, make sure your books stay balanced, and work together as a couple to stay on track with your goals.
Also you may not have stayed in counseling long enough possibly because you could not afford it or you felt it just wasn't working to make your husband see that he needs to contribute to the household income or he may have been embarrassed to have to go to a counselor but you may also be having some communication issues with your husband also. Communication is one of the most important foundations of a marriage, and if you are struggling financially from it, you will more than likely need more than just financial help with your marriage. Online marriage counseling has been one the best and easiest ways to help couples with marital issues, especially in the communication department. With online counseling, you can take the sessions according to your schedule, from the comfort of your own home, and the stress from face to face counseling is no longer a problem. The bonus of these online programs is that both you and you partner will rely on each other through the exercises, instead of waiting for the counselor to come up with the solutions, and the cost for this method of counseling is far cheaper than the traditional face to face counseling. Below are some sites to look at that offer online marriage counseling.