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Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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I think I am scientifically undesireable.... I am at my wits

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I think I am scientifically undesireable.... I am at my wits end with relationships.. I am a gay male living in Tempe Arizona, I tried about 6 months ago posting a profile on Chemistry.com..After a couple weeks, I received a reply and chatted with a nice guy for about a week and then he just stopped. I reached out to several other posts, was positive and outgoing on every one, on Chemistry and after 6 months didnt receive-one-not one response. This makes me very sad as I know I am not a model, but I dont think I am a troll either..Any advice you can give can do nothing but help as I am ready to move to a retirement home and just shrivel up and blow away...the sadest thing of all is that I am only 38.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 5 years ago.
Hi tjohnson, and thanks for your question.

I'm sorry you've been so disappointed in the past, re: meeting guys. I understand your hopeless feeling about the situation, but there's no need to feel that way. I do know that there is someone (or perhaps more than one person) out there, with whom you will make a good match.

You ARE comparatively young, and I think you need to change the way you're going about things re: your postings on online singles/meeting sites. If you posted a profile on Chemistry.com and received a reply, but nothing really came of it, overhaul your profile, description of yourself and who you're seeking, and also, post your profile on other singles dating sites. There are some exclusively for gay men and women, gay men, and some of the bigger sites also cater to gay men and women, like www.match.com/online-dating/Gay/single-men.html, personals.yahoo.com/, http://www.freedatingfish.com, and others found in this article, below:

http://www.moonwhisper.com/dating/29161-.html

You might have to make your profile a little more interesting and intriguing to attract more attention to yourself and make someone think, I'll contact THIS man, as opposed to another. However, as you may know, there are many postings on these sites, and sometimes you may have to go through a few different types of people and dates, before finding Mr. Right.

There's no denying it's a tedious and sometimes frustrating process, but if you keep at it and keep improving/changing your profile--of course keeping it all 'honest' about yourself and who you're seeking, but just 'spicing' it up a little, you'll be more successful. Look at other people's profiles and take some key phrases that you appreciate, from there.

The Bar and Club scene is difficult, and in this electronic age, online dating is really an easier alternative, so persevere, try different sites, make your profile stand out from the others, and keep trying.

You're not ready for the retirement home, just yet, and see? there's your sense of humor coming out, right there! That's GOOD! Be witty, be funny, sarcastic, but don't put yourself down in your profile.....be as honest as possible, but the 'real' you will be discovered in person, when you meet a guy for a date. Exchanging important information about yourselves through emails at first, is important, then you can move to the next step, talking on the phone, and then if you're both intrigued and want to meet each other, make arrangements for the in-person meeting.

I wish you much luck, and please let me know how things are progressing.

Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 18708
Experience: Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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