How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Cher Your Own Question

Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 18884
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
1470369
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Cher is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I am dating a guy that is a coach for a 7 and 8 year old little

Resolved Question:

I am dating a guy that is a coach for a 7 and 8 year old little league. He only spends Friday evenings and Sundays with me, due to all of the responisiblities from coaching. Let me clarify... He coaches little league, Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. He coaches women's flag football on Wednesday night for now, but starting in October it will be Monday, Wednesday, and Thursdays. I have told him numerous times that I hate it, and packed his stuff up many times to move him out of my house, we don't live together, but he stays over when he comes. I live in a very large town with no family. I think I put up with this because I have become somewhat attatched to his family. How do I get rid of him. He obviously is not going to stop doing the football thing, and it is very lonley to have a man and still alone all the time!!
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 5 years ago.
Hello, and thanks for your question.

I can sympathize with your situation and agree that it's not right to be in a relationship, yet be alone most of the time. If you're sure you want to break up with him and ask him to get his things out of your house, you have to be sure this is the direction you want to go. If he is not willing to give up some of his coaching time (I'm assuming this is volunteer and/or pays very little, and is secondary to his 'day' job), to spend more time with you and have more of a typical relationship, then, I agree it's time for you to move on.

Because you have no family in the town where you live, it's not unusual that you have become attached to his family; sometimes, after a break-up, one or both partners may still keep in touch with the former partner's family. In some cases it works out successfully, and in others, not. It really depends on the people involved, if the break-up was acrimonious or friendly, mutual or not, etc. If you feel you'd rather not lose contact with his family, you can maintain it, IF they still want to communicate/see you, after you two are no longer together.

If you feel you need more from this relationship, and I agree that you do, make the break, tell him the reason, and start dating others.

If you feel you'd like to give him one more chance to choose time with you, over the coaching, tell him outright, that's what you expect, and if he can't make that decision in your favor, it's bye-bye coach.

You might keep up with his family for a while, but when you start dating someone else, steadily, you'll probably find yourself starting to pull away from his family, because your interests and needs have changed. Also, it wouldn't be right to share you 'new' dating experiences with his family, which will probably get back to him. What you do in your life after breaking up with him is your business and statements like, "everything is fine" is sufficient if/when they ask about your personal or dating life.

I hope things work out the way you'd like, and you're able to find a man who will put you above all else.

Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 18884
Experience: Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
Cher and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Counselor
Cher
Cher
Counselor
18884 Satisfied Customers
Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor