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Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 20953
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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I am dating a guy that is a coach for a 7 and 8 year old little

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I am dating a guy that is a coach for a 7 and 8 year old little league. He only spends Friday evenings and Sundays with me, due to all of the responisiblities from coaching. Let me clarify... He coaches little league, Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. He coaches women's flag football on Wednesday night for now, but starting in October it will be Monday, Wednesday, and Thursdays. I have told him numerous times that I hate it, and packed his stuff up many times to move him out of my house, we don't live together, but he stays over when he comes. I live in a very large town with no family. I think I put up with this because I have become somewhat attatched to his family. How do I get rid of him. He obviously is not going to stop doing the football thing, and it is very lonley to have a man and still alone all the time!!
Hello, and thanks for your question.

I can sympathize with your situation and agree that it's not right to be in a relationship, yet be alone most of the time. If you're sure you want to break up with him and ask him to get his things out of your house, you have to be sure this is the direction you want to go. If he is not willing to give up some of his coaching time (I'm assuming this is volunteer and/or pays very little, and is secondary to his 'day' job), to spend more time with you and have more of a typical relationship, then, I agree it's time for you to move on.

Because you have no family in the town where you live, it's not unusual that you have become attached to his family; sometimes, after a break-up, one or both partners may still keep in touch with the former partner's family. In some cases it works out successfully, and in others, not. It really depends on the people involved, if the break-up was acrimonious or friendly, mutual or not, etc. If you feel you'd rather not lose contact with his family, you can maintain it, IF they still want to communicate/see you, after you two are no longer together.

If you feel you need more from this relationship, and I agree that you do, make the break, tell him the reason, and start dating others.

If you feel you'd like to give him one more chance to choose time with you, over the coaching, tell him outright, that's what you expect, and if he can't make that decision in your favor, it's bye-bye coach.

You might keep up with his family for a while, but when you start dating someone else, steadily, you'll probably find yourself starting to pull away from his family, because your interests and needs have changed. Also, it wouldn't be right to share you 'new' dating experiences with his family, which will probably get back to him. What you do in your life after breaking up with him is your business and statements like, "everything is fine" is sufficient if/when they ask about your personal or dating life.

I hope things work out the way you'd like, and you're able to find a man who will put you above all else.

Cher
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