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Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 20851
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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My partner comes from England and we has moved up and down

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My partner comes from England and we has moved up and down to scotland to be near me twice. I then moved to England for 2 years and family fall outs happened and we decided to move back to scotland. He got a good job but it turned out he didnt like it so went to college for a year. He blames me for the fact that he made the wrong job choice ect. Now 2 years on, 2 of our freinds (which he is closer to) have moved to England (Brighton) and he has told me he is going there to get a job as he cant stay here, but wants to me to come down if he settles after 3 months. I really dont want to go but love him and I think he knows I dont want to go but would let me give up my job and family to move down. I dont know what to do?

We have been going out for 6 years

Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 7 years ago.

It certainly sounds like you are in a difficult situation. Only you can make this important decision. If you love him and want to continue this relationship at the cost of giving up your job and being near your family, to live in England with him, that's the decision and sacrifice you'll have to make.

If you feel you don't want to move away from your family and a job you like and/or want to keep, because you don't know what you'll be able to find job-wise, in Brighton, and feel he's not considering your feelings, knowing you really don't want to move, you'll need to discuss this further with him, and tell him you love him, but would really not like to make the move.

Sometimes, true love can win out and both partners can be happy in a completely different place, where neither of them come from, but if you each want to remain in your respective home countries (towns, etc.), and only one of you wants to change locations now (he), you have to think long and hard about what will make you most happy, and go with that decision.

If you move to be with him and are not happy, that doesn't make for a successful relationship. If you don't move and miss him, you won't be happy, but you'll still have your job and your family, in a place you are familiar with, and feel comfortable in.

I'm sorry I can't tell you directly what decision to make, but I've set out both scenarios and you need to choose what will make you most happy. Your happiness is most important.

I wish you much good luck.

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