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Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 20975
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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Is it possible that a child does not/will not love its par

This answer was rated:

Is it possible that a child does not/will not love its parent?
Hello,

Thanks for your question.

Can you please give a detailed history as to the context of this question?

What is the age of the child?

What makes you think that the child does not love its parent?
Customer: replied 7 years ago.

This question is about children who are products of divorce, but they are grown now (both in their forties) married and divorced and remarried.

The reason for the question is to attempt to understand the childrens' behavior with regard to their remaining living parent.

 

Both are either extremly rude or non communicative.

Thanks for your reply.

This looks more of a relationship question, hence I am going to opt out and transfer this question to the concerned category.

Take care.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Thank you. I will await an answer from someone in the 'concerned catagory'
Hello agilmore, and thanks for your question and your patience.

It's possible that a child may not 'like' a parent, but deep down, I believe all children do love their parents.

Divorce can adversely affect a child's attitude toward their parents, and they can experience everything from guilt, that it's their fault the parents separated, to anger with one or both parents, if they are aware of infidelity and/or other reasons for the divorce.

It's not uncommon that children of divorce may experience problems in their own relationships and marriages, so the fact that the children are divorced and remarried, is very telling.

If there is only one remaining parent now, and the children are both rude and non-communicative, the source of the anger and desire to not speak to the parent must be uncovered and remediated. If the children won't talk to the parent, family counseling with an experienced therapist in this area, would be a good next step, if the parent can get both or at least one of the children, to attend sessions.

Sometimes, in-person meetings (alone, not with a counselor) are more difficult if there are tensions, so for the moment, it would be a good idea for the parent to write a letter from the heart, to the children, explaining past actions re: the divorce, etc., and telling the children that they are very loved and now, at this time, the parent would like to 'mend all fences' and re-establish a relationship with the children and their families, so they can all live their lives in harmony. Life is short, and wasting time on anger and purposely making another family member, especially a parent, miserable, is not a good use of that time. Feelings can be expressed, discussed, and apologies can be made (if needed) as long as the lines of communication are opened and maintained. I do think an experienced therapist can help facilitate this for the family.

I wish you much good luck and hope things improve for this family.

Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 20975
Experience: Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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