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Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 18584
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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I have been seeing someone for the past three month...obviously

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I have been seeing someone for the past three month...obviously it goes pretty well in the beginning until recently, the callings slowed down and the seeing each other for lunch, quite often slowed down too....claiming that he is getting extremely busy which is possible, but then again not too long ago he asked me that he needed help with a discount hotel form which i usually have with me, and he claimed that the form is not for him. The form require to be filled with the guest information and a signature i asked him to give me the guest information but he refused and said that he only needed the signature and i should leave the guest information blank....I do not want to me thinking about this the wrong way, but could he be seeing someone else, and he did not want me to know the guest info? Another thing i have been very nice to him cause i have strong feelings for him, i have been leaving my schedule open for him, but then again he is not like that, he says no to my offers quite ofte
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 5 years ago.
Hello,

May I ask your ages?

How did you meet him?

Has he been married previously?

How often were you seeing him/speaking to him within the past 3 months, after you first met?

Is he usually not available when you call or want to see him?

Thanks for all your additional detail.

Cher
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

I am 25 year old, we used to work together thats how we met, but we did not date at work we are both not working at the place where we met so we started dating 3 month, but we have know each other about 3 years. Yes he has been married previously. When we started dating he used to call quite often on his lunch break, when he was getting off work, at home, and its kind of slowed down now a days, He is usually not available when i want to see him, but whenever i call he picks up most of the time. I am not well experienced in relashionships, so i guess my question is...is it because am being way too nice that i am always available for him, isnt that the way its suppose to be when you like someone? or is it because he is not interested in me at all...but i would imagine he would tell me so and not waste my time nor his, but then it seems that he wants to see me whenever he feels like it, and he does call me but its not quite often like it used to be when we first started daiting. Thank you.
Expert:  Cher replied 5 years ago.
Hello again, and thanks for your reply with additional and helpful information.

I think you are right, that the 'newness' and excitement of the relationship, when you first started dating, is wearing off, on his part.

I agree that if he didn't want to see you at all, and/or wanted to end your association/relationship, he WOULD say something and not waste time for either of you; however, it sounds like he is calling you and seeing you only when it suits HIM and that is not fair to you.

You might have 'spoiled' him, into knowing that whenever he wants to see you, you're available, and I certainly do not advocate playing games, but, perhaps if you're not as available when he calls, he'll learn that he has to be more courteous and call more often and/or give you more advance notice. You are absolutely right, that he should appreciate that you're always available when he wants to see you and that's the way relationships are supposed to work, if you both like each other, you want to be together as much as possible; however, it has to be mutual.

It also may be good for the relationship, and for you, if you have not discussed being 'exclusive' with each other, for you to start slowly dating others. Some men feel uncomfortable saying they want to start seeing others, or that they feel the relationship may not be working out as they had hoped, and instead of being honest and telling the woman this (they don't want to hurt you), they just start changing their behavior around you and calling less, seeming less interested. If this is the case in your situation (I'm not saying it is, just that it's possible), you should ask him why he's been calling less and not available to see you as often as in the past. You can also ask him if there is another woman and/or if he's dating others at this time. See what he says. He may be truly busy with work, etc., but that hotel discount form you mentioned, may be a clue to his behavior. It certainly is something to wonder about.

If you need to know what's causing the changes in him, re: your relationship, you'll have to ask him, nicely, and just hear what he has to say, then take it from there, and decide if you want to continue to see him.

I hope things work out well for you.


Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 18584
Experience: Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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