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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
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I have a very high sex drive and a few weeks ago my husband

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I have a very high sex drive and a few weeks ago my husband came home from work, said that he had to go to the bathroom, and masturbated. I figured it out later that night and confronted him and he lied. I've been working to lose weight and the fact that he chose to look at porn over me really hurt. I asked him to stop when I am home and willing to do it for him, he promised he would and then did it again a few days later. I've tried to make him understand how bad that hurt me, but he is mad that he can't masturbate. I don't mind him doing it if I am not home to take care of his needs. Am I wrong to ask him to stop doing that when I am around and willing?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 7 years ago.


It may be that he has a Sex Addiction and cannot help wanting to masturbate. All the signs are there, there are several ways in which sexual addiction manifests itself. Some people suffer from the private addiction - masturbation. A large number of people indulge in masturbation, even if they have regular sexual relations with a partner. This is not uncommon, as many children also masturbate as a way of exploring their body but masturbation becomes a problem when the person is unable to enjoy sex with a partner, preferring to masturbate. This is a form of non-relationship, fantasy-based sex. It also becomes an addiction when the person becomes distress by the act because it interferes with their daily life. It has become socially acceptable for people to admit to addictions with alcohol, eating, work or even illegal drugs. People who are addicted to masturbation are subject to being shunned because it is not easily recognizable when the person has crossed the line.


Another sexual addiction that disrupts a person's life is pornography addiction, described as one of the most difficult addictions to overcome. In fact, it has been compared to drug addiction because people experience the same type of struggle as drug addicts do. The viewing of magazine photos and video pornography is being replaced with an even more accessible way to feed this addiction: the Internet. There are many different behaviors associated with sexual addiction. A person who does not admit to their addiction usually are embarrassed that they let it get that far. Treatment begins when the person admits to the problem, with a focus on controlling the addictive behavior, while at the same time developing a healthy sexuality. Your husband may need to get counseling in order to get over his addiction or join a support group with people with the same problem.

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