How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask KimberlyF Your Own Question

KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
KimberlyF is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

im bored with my relationship,ive been dating my boyfriend

Resolved Question:

i'm bored with my relationship,i've been dating my boyfriend for a year now,we don't go out,we sit at my place watching tv. we don't have that much in common. could it be just me,considering i'm 40 and he's 36,maybe i'm just not that interested in him like i used to be,or that i'm not interested in sex as much as he still seems to be.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

You are going to have to communicate your feelings to your boyfriend and tell him that you want to do more things outside of the your home like going to dinner or the movies or just for romantic walks at a riverfront. There has to be compromise as to sharing each others interests. Every relationship faces boredom. Everyday is pretty much the same. You and your boyfriend may be taking each other for granted. Sex has become routine. You no longer catch yourself having warm fuzzy feelings about your partner and dreaming up ways to make him happy. When and where it started, you're not sure. One day you wake up and it occurs to you that your sex life is boring. Ok, now that you've recognized the problem how do you fix it? It's important for you to make your relationship the main focus and how to get that spark back in your relationship.

 

Talk about the boredom: Too often, couples who are bored make it worse by failing to communicate that to their mate. If boredom is obviously a problem in your relationship, why continue to live in that boredom, say to your partner, "We need to talk about something that needs to change for me in the relationship." Make it a priority, and have a conversation to get the ball rolling. Come up with a list of boredom breakers together: Get together and talk about the things that you both enjoy doing together. The very act of brainstorming together will remind you both of the "getting to know you" process that you once enjoyed, before the boredom set in. Coming up with activities that you both love to do is key, come up with activities that you can share together, or fun things to do to get you out the house and active together. Talk about the anger that is caused because of the feeling of the relationship being at a stand still. Often times, boredom is really anger that's been frozen. If there is anger between you two, air it out. Talk about it, melt the anger or tension, and get back to spontaneity and fun. Boredom is an intellectual, or mental, way to express anger sometimes, and it's a way, to distance themselves from their partners. Talk about anger if it's a problem for you, and you may see boredom start to blow out of your relationship with that simple change.

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
KimberlyF and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
i can relate to the anger issue.he goes out with his friend,to the movies,they go fishing,he goes to his house,the friend goes to his house. we live about 45 minutes away from each other so it's not like i can just hop over to his house. plus i don't work i'm in the house all day 24/7 he works at night. he comes over when he gets off work only maybe twice a week,i don't see him on weekends he has his kids everyweekend,i have mine every other weekend and during the week.he knows i don't like sitting here day and day out. but he won't do anything about it,i feel like i come in second to his friend who by the way introduced us. i just sit here and wait for him to decide when he wants to be with me i'm just tired of it all. i don't think this relationship is worth saving but i don't know how to end it.
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

If you don't know how to end it then realize that you deserve better and you deserve someone that will include you in their everyday life and not when they want to see you.

There is no great way to end a relationship, but there are so many ways you can make it badly, so try to make it the least bit painful. If this is truly what you want to do then do it for yourself and to make your life better and happier. The noblest thing you can do is to end a relationship in person. No emails. No letter. Make up your mind that breaking up is what you truly want to do. Don't end a relationship only to have second doubts and take back what you said. If you're not ready to end a relationship, don't. If you're having problems, talk about them but don't break up just yet. Sometimes, we live with regrets and that is something you don't want to do and that is why I say for you to make sure that this is what you want. But trying to get back together with your lover just days after breaking his or her heart, and then having doubts about the relationship again, will only create trouble. There is no great way to end a relationship. It's not a pleasant thing at all. However, if you are not happy and you don't see him changing then it's best for you to end it now then to continue to be unhappy.

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
KimberlyF and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency