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Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 20975
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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My partner had an affair and whend I discovered this on his

Customer Question

My partner had an affair and whend I discovered this on his phone he packed up and left me that same day and is now living with her. He has phoned me evryday to see how I am (but not yesterday). He tells me he is not in love with her, but likes her and can talk to her. Should I not answer the phone again and wait and see what happens, or should I talk to him when he calls? I would like him back but on my terms after what has happened.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 7 years ago.
Hi,

I'm sorry you're having to go through this tough time.

If you would like him back, it would be a good idea to talk to him when he calls and schedule a time and a day to get together to have a heart to heart talk.

If he's not in love with her, but IS in love with you, why is he with her? He says he likes her and can talk to her; didn't you talk when you were together? (these are questions to ask him). Ask what he feels is lacking in your relationship on your part, and then tell him what you feel is lacking on his part. Keep it all 'civil' and not nasty--don't argue, just try to get the facts, so you can both work toward salvaging your relationship. If he's calling you every day and tells you he doesn't love her, you might still have a chance to reconcile, if you work out the things that caused a problem in the relationship.

Seeing a couples counselor in person, would be a good next step. You can discuss all the important aspects of your relationship and each work to try to improve trouble spots.

I hope things work out the way you want them to, but keep one thing in mind, there's a saying: "once a cheater, always a cheater", so if you take him back, you have to be certain he can remain faithful to you.

If you would like to discuss this further, I'd be happy to, but I need to sign offline now, for the night, so if I don't respond immediately, I wanted to let you know you were not being ignored.

Cher