-How long have you been married?
-Do you and your husband get along other than this issue?
-If not, what other things are bothering you?
-Could you explain your situation a little more?
You're right an emotional affair can be just as hurtful as a physical affair because their heart and mind are with the other person but I don't feel your husband has gotten to that point yet. If your hsuband wants to work on the marriage then he has to discontinue all contact with this woman except for at work when he has to talk to her. If has betrayed your trust and not the trust isn't as strong as it use to be. I think he may be going through a midlife crisis and this woman makes him feel young or he wants to feel young and desireable again. An emotional affair can alter the state of your relationship more than if he were to have a one night stand. Emotional affairs have a huge impact on marriages. The important thing for you to realize is that there is a difference between an emotionally charged friendship and a platonic friendship. Men and women can be friends in a platonic way, but in some cases the feelings shift and that's when your husband's emotional affair began.
One approach to this is to tell your husband that you aren't comfortable with his continuing such a close friendship with another woman. If he's determined to move the relationship with the other woman into a more serious one, he'll likely refuse to break contact or pull back. He may also assure you that he will, but your husband's emotional affair may continue behind your back. If this is the case and you still suspect the relationship is continuing, it may be time to give him an ultimatum. Your husband's emotional affair will have an impact on your marriage, but it doesn't have to destroy it. If you both are committed to making the marriage stronger after an emotional affair, it can be done with a lot of hard work, forgiveness and understanding and a marriage counselor if needed..