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KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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I am working with an engaged man that I am falling for. When

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I am working with an engaged man that I am falling for. When he first started he went fr a few weeks not mentioning his fiancee but then only to call her girlfriend. He was also very unsure sometimes saying to me, "if there is even a wedding".He's said to me, "Whenever you and I work together I never seem to get any work done. I don't know why." There was an awkward moment at work last week during a discussion. I had a conversation with his supervisor & the supervisor asked, "Have you guys had a previous relationship outside of work?" I've been asked this question several times. I mentioned this to the co-worker and he told me he can't figure out why people keep thinking this. I was trying to provoke him and saying, "seriously,you can't see it?" It was at that moment I felt like he knew that I wanted to say "we have chemistry and I've liked you since the day I've met you." I just told him he flirts too much with other females that's why they think that. what should i do?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 7 years ago.

Liningdeathofus,

 

This is a hard situation because he is engaged to someone else so it really isn't a good idea to start anything with him until he decides what he wants and whether that means to break off his engagement or if he is just being friendly with you. Seeing that the two of you work together and your boss has already questioned your relationship you may be playing with fire or even get fired if he thinks the two of your are dating outside of work. I would not say much especially at work because that could be cause for him to file a complaint or get you in trouble with your boss so make sure that he is feeling the same way about you that you are about him but even still his fiance has to come to mind and how she would feel to know that someone from his job was talking to him about feelings they may or may not have for each other. Just be careful what you say until he makes the first move and if he does not then wait until outside of work to talk him about this. You do not want to jeopardize you job in anyway.

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
The situtation is not that simple. It's not my boss that knows or cares. It's his boss and he doesn't care. I'm also a supervisor and so is the engaged guy. He's underneath me on the power scale. It wasn't always that way. I got promoted after he started. I'm not trying to intiate anything with him. If anything ever did happen, I'd wait for him. I do not want to step on his fiancee's toes. I'm really trying to keep quiet about it. I do not want to ruin our friendship. Sometimes I just get these overwhelming urges to call him out on the little stuff, like when he gets jealous because I'm talking to another guy or when he calls me just to ask the stupidest questions he knows the answers to. We play fight all the time and joke back and forth. We share our thoughts and feelings. I jsut can't see how he wouldn't know how I feel. I would like to know how to approach it so I can at least see if he feels the same way.
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 7 years ago.
Customer

 

Just come out and ask him and tell him it won't affect the friendship you have at all, it's time to get those pent up feelings out in the open so that you can both move past this tension and decide what the tension means. Sit him down or maybe ask him to go to lunch in a public place and talk to him about everything his actions and yours. There is no other way of going about it where you can get your answers and keep the meeting noble and mature so not to hurt anyone's (fiance') feelings.

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