How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask KimberlyF Your Own Question

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
KimberlyF is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Is my husband a sociopath

This answer was rated:

he can be charming-but has treated me shabbily for the last yr.and one half-blaming it on the stress of my 3 kids and him not being used to it-spends money and "don't know where", claims "poor memory", is a control freak-doesn't listen to advice-has to be his way even if i told him it was wrong-i cannot go out w/friends-he doesn't either anymore to keep me here-addicted to porn and is a chronic liar and will deny even w/hard cold evidence. He turns charming again when I tell him I'm leaving-i just found dating sites that he signed up for and he claims that "someone" set him up or that these sites were from a long time ago and he don't know why they re-activated ( stated that he was divorced w/3 kids-he and his ex had no kids-just me w/my 3). I told my pastor in an effort to save my marriage and Adam came unglued, denied EVERYTHING, and claims that i tricked him into the meeting so that the pastor could "F" w/him! He has been very hostile for 2 days, but is starting to be "nice


-What is your question for me?


-How long have you been married?


-Do you want to save the marriage?


-What did your pastor advise you to do?

Customer: replied 7 years ago. my husband a sociopath, therefor "unfixable" or is it the porn addiction that makes him act the way he does, making our marriage and him is "fixable"
2.Oct. 2009 will be 2 yrs.
3.yes nice to adam no matter how he treats me for now so that he can "lick his wounds", then the pastor will attempt to talk to adam next week about porn addiction and lying-if he can get adam to at least concede that he has a problem, then we are to go to marriage counseling-if adam still denies everything, the pastor advises me to pack up the kids and leave


Your pastor is [artially right, it's important to give your husband time to cool down from being angry about you talking to the pastor, he is feeling embarrassed as do most people with a sex addiction or addiction to porn, they deny it even to their wives and others because they are ashamed of having the problem. All of your underlying issues in your marriage sound like a classic signs of addictions but it seems he may have several addictions to spending and porn and trying to hide them both and often times they get defensive and mean about denying it to the end. Sex addiction can be managed with a support group and therapy or talking to your clergyman, in the grips of this addiction the sufferers cannot escape their obsessive and compulsive behavior. Often times sex addiction is experienced with other addictive behaviors such as over spending and drug addiction, they are all behaviors of the same disease of addiction.


The addiction is similar to other addictions such as drug addiction and alcohol addiction, sex addiction is based on obsessive and compulsive needs. The behavior of a sex addict can include, compulsive masturbation, denying they have an issues, trying to take attention away from the issue with another issues, trying to place the blame away from himself and putting it back on you. Just like with any addiction with therapy and a support group for people going through the same things as you husband he can regain a normal life again. Many sex addicts will be in a state of denial about their problem but once they have admitted that they have a problem, they can begin the healingand recovery process.


Treatment usually involves group therapy and individual therapy which have been found to be the most successful methods of dealing with sex addiction. He doesn't have to be alone in his struggle, if he can only see that he is not alone and that he has a problem but he has to want to get help you telling him that he needs help will not make him go, that is where the pastor can help you to convince him that he needs help. You are going to have to have the patience of Job right now and be his biggest supporter during this ordeal if he see that you are on his side instead of against him it will make your marriage stronger and healthier.

Customer: replied 7 years ago. think it is more the addiction to porn/sex than sociopathic behavior?


Yes and the irrational behavior stem from embarrassment and shame from the addiction both to spending and porn sites. Talk to your pastor again and see what he says and also show him or talk to him about what I said and see if he agrees.

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with
KimberlyF and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Previous | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX

Meet The Experts:

  • Kate McCoy

    Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
< Last | Next >
  • Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist


    Satisfied Customers:

    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • Ms Chase's Avatar

    Ms Chase

    Life Coach

    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
  • Alicia_MSW's Avatar



    Satisfied Customers:

    Specializing in relationship/family counseling
  • Dr. Norman Brown's Avatar

    Dr. Norman Brown

    Marriage Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
  • Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L


    Satisfied Customers:

    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • Suzanne's Avatar


    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

Related Relationship Questions