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Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 18671
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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Hi there, I have a good friend that i really have strong feelings

Resolved Question:

Hi there, I have a good friend that i really have strong feelings for, but she doesnt like attatchment, do you have any advice on how i can approach someone like that, like i say we are just good friends right now and I want more and I get the feeling she likes me in a more than friends way but whenever i mention it she just seems to laugh like she doesnt think im serious, i feel a little strange asking but my friends just think im an idiot for even thinking about it
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 5 years ago.
Hi,

May I ask your ages?

How long have you known her?

What did you 'mention' (what did you say, exactly) re: liking each other in a more than friends way, that made her laugh, thinking you were not serious?

Thanks,
Cher
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Hi,

She is 25 and I am 24. I have know her for around a year and I never used to think of her in a romantic way this is very recent thing, she says there is a good possibility things could go further but this was said on one occasion, since she showed that brief interest and i told her how i felt she seems to avoid the subject or laugh it off, I know she is not one to have relationships she likes to keep things on a non attatchment basis, i kind of feel like the girl and she is the guy as funny as that sounds as far as attitudes go, i really just want to know if this is something worth pursuing based on her reaction. Im not really sure why she is laughing about it thats the problem.

Thanks.
Expert:  Cher replied 5 years ago.
Hi again, and thanks for your reply with additional and helpful information.

If you know she's not the type to form 'attachments' or get involved in relationships, you can continue to play it cool with her, but also continue to do and/or say little things that let her know you are interested in a more romantic way.

She probably laughed off what you said, out of nervousness, because she was most likely not expecting to hear that from you, and also, because she is trying to avoid commitment.

If you don't see her all the time, and have her (house) mailing address, and/or communicate through email, send her a card that is sort of humorous and sort of romantic, dropping little 'hints' about how you feel and you are not fooling around about it. Tease her a little bit, about her views of 'non-attachment' and tell her there are exceptions to every rule; say things like, "it's going to get you sometime, might as well give in, now", and laugh as you say it. Ask if she's a 'fraidy cat' and tell her, don't worry, I don't bite! As long as you smile/laugh as you say these things, she won't know if you're fooling around or serious, but the more you say it, she should realize you mean it, and at some point, you can tell her you're serious and why don't the two of you give it a try?

Now, it IS possible, although she's not one for attachments, that she really does just want to remain friends, so don't push her to a point of annoyance, with your 'pursuit', which may end your friendship; you will have to be the judge of her reactions, and realize if/when she's becoming truly annoyed with you. If this happens, back off and continue to enjoy your friendship with her, so she's still in your life, but just as a friend.

I hope things work out for you!

Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 18671
Experience: Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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