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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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Ok, I am begining to get really annoyed now, and im questioning

Customer Question

Ok, I am begining to get really annoyed now, and i'm questioning if i should be and could really do with some advice. Keeping a long story short, I have been with my bf for 7.5 years, the thing is i am looking for a bit more than bf and gf. I want to get married in the next couple of years.In all the time I can only ever spend the night on a saturday night even though I see him nearly every night. this year I wanted to know where we were going as a couple as I still was only allowed to stay once a week which I started complaining about and did get really upset about becuase I didnt understand why he only wanted me there once a week for the night. |If he doesnt want to get married fine but why cant I at least spend more than 1 night a week with him. In jan, this year however his friend became ill with cancer - he stopped seeing me as he needed space. I agreed to the space but was not happy with total no contact as we have been together 7 years.I did pop in occasionally with food for him to find he was actually entertaining his friends, not depressed as he told me he was. IHe sauid he could not handle a relationship because of the stress so I agreed to wait until he got his head together. then I found out that he was texting another girl behind my back and finally slept with her whilst I was giving him space. He slept with her in our bed as he cried when I sat down on it. So he couldnt handle a relationship but was having one with her. Heres a bit about his character - I wanted to go to a concert and he did not like the singer so he refused to take me. His friend (a girl) wanted to see a concert and he liked the singer so he took her and refused me?? Im his fiance. He did take me in the end but as I went on about it for ages. Do you think I was selfish and over reacted? Do you think he wanted to have his single life (cake and eat it) and chucked me for another who is younger (she is 21) he is 42 and I am 27 as soon as I started asking about commitment. In other words see how far he could drag it out until I moaned.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 5 years ago.
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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Hi,

Its interesting to get a good reply - we have been engaged for five years. (just to point out) and he has since dumped me for this young girl. I was there for him every day, I went to every family event in his life - he never come to mine which I never complained about. I have stayed with him so long probably because I love him so much and always have. He has been in two serious accidents since we met and he nearly died, I didnt want to lose him - he is everything to me. His friend has also since died from the cancer and I knew this screwed him up but when his friend got ill initially he broke off a lot of contact with me. he has text me every day for 7 years and then he just stopped which I could not get used to. Do you think maybe if I hadnt had plied so much pressure in the last few months he would not have two timed me? I have been asking where the relationship was going for about two/3 months. I stopped when his friend took a turn for the worse but did kep asking why i couldnt stay even 1 more night. He had been contacting this girl since feb, I gave him space in feb and gave him all my cards and gifts back until he got his head together. I did this because it was difficult having his picture around when we were not together. he said we broke up before he went with this girl but we had not broken up - we were having a breather so he could deal with his friend and get his head together. I explained that to him continuously. He told me before he dumped me he has not been happy for three years which is not true. He never mentioned this ever, this is about the time his mother asked him are we going anywhere. Do you think I was basically just used and He had all the benefits of marriage without the commitment. He saw me as his free personal whore that he could dismiss when he got tired of me?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
After 6 years I lost my job and became unhappy for 5 weeks where by he nearly twotimed me. i FOUND OUT ABOUT IT AND SHE SAID SHE DIDNT KNOW HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND AND WAS SO SORRY SO IT ENDED before it got off the ground.
We stayed together though and I found another job one week later, only this year I wanted to know where we were going, its the 1st guy i have ever stayed with who two timed me so it was a difficult year but i stayed as happy as possible.

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