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myhusband had an affair 2years ago. afterwards we said we would

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myhusband had an affair 2years ago. afterwards we said we would get an divorce we changed our mines, and decided to work on our marriage and even go to counsiling. The counsler said if i wanted to save my marriage I needed to put this behind me and move on in order for the marriage to work. This young lady lives in Jamaica and every time my husband finds excues to go to Jamaica alone. My husband claims the relationship is over but just yesterday he and she was sending each other text he claims it's not like that and that was the first time since we started counsiling. The message was asking whats the score. I do believe a phone conversation took place prior to this text and that this has been going on longer than what he is admiting to. He claims the relationship is not like that, I feel there should be no contact if you love me and you are trying to work on your marriage. has received inapproriate text from another female so call freind. I feel need to leave him and give him time.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.

Jacky1038,

 

You're right if you are working on your marriage and giving your marriage a fighting chance he should have ceased all contact with any females that he has had inappropriate contact with. He has to make up his mind that he is going to show restraint and focus completely on the marriage and if he isn't willing to do that then you have to decide how much you are willing to take for the sake of your marriage and I think you have gone above and beyond what most women could take from their husband's infidelity. It's time for you to take time for yourself and ponder if you are want the relationship to work or want to move on to someone that will respect you as their mate and not take you for granted and that is what your husband is doing, taking you and your feelings for granted and only thinking of his needs which is very selfish on his part because he doesn't realize how much his actions hurt you even though he claims they are innocent actions they are actions that caused the two of you to be in this predicament in the first place. Not only does your husband need time but you need time also because you are torn between saving your marriage and possibly saving you self respect also, If you feel like someone is not respecting you then you have to demand respect or else find someone that will. It should always come to self respect first and then all else always remember that.

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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