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Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 18987
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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I had a date last night with a new guy I met. He asked me

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I had a date last night with a new guy I met. He asked me to meet him at Satrbucks. Not my idea of an impressive first date, but ok. I arrived and he was sitting on the patio portion at Starbucks. I walked in, greeted him with a hug he iniated, and sat down. It was very chilly out, I was wearing short sleeves, and he asked was I cold. I responded "yes", thinking he would at the very least offer to purchase me a cup of tea or hot cocoa since we were at Starbucks. He just said he wished he had his jacket for me. He then proceeded to boast about himself and that he believes in pursuing a woman, being chivalrous, and chasing a woman. I asked well what about offering to purchase a cup of cocoa for your date. He told me he would offer, but we were not on a date, it was a "meet and greet". He said he would make up for it with dinner today. I now have the sniffles and am not interested in dinner today. Is he worth seeing again? Just wanted him to offer cocoa, no need to actually buy
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 5 years ago.
Hi again,

I completely agree with you, from your description of the events that took place, that this guy is most likely not worth pursuing. He really didn't act 'chivalrous' at all, should have offered to buy you a hot drink, and/or offer that you move inside, if you were chilly.

His comment re: this was a 'meet and greet' and not a 'date', would have put me off, altogether. That was quite an inconsiderate, and I think 'selfish' thing to say to someone 'new', whom he should have wanted to impress.

His invitation for dinner today was a nice gesture, but since your exposure to the chilly night air caused you to get the sniffles and not feel well, you can tell him exactly that, and sorry, but you're not up to it. If you feel you want to get to know him better and give him a second chance, you can tell him 'maybe another time', if you're not feeling well, and have him take you to dinner, then see how you feel about him. You can also say, in a kidding way, now, your dinner invitation is a 'DATE', right? Are we going 'dutch' (sharing the bill) or what? Don't make it sound like paying your own way or having him pay for your dinner is the most important thing to you; just make him understand (in an indirect way) that you found his comment last night, inappropriate.

If he doesn't 'catch on' and apologize in some way (well, he thinks his dinner invitation is 'making up for it'), I don't think he's worth seeing again, at this particular time. Tell him you'll call him when you're feeling better, and then decide if you want to, or not.

His 'first impression' certainly was not impressive, nor was it chivalrous. He may have been nervous, but boasting about how he likes to pursue women, etc., I would not think he'd 'catch' any woman he chases, with his selfish attitude, i.e. not offering to buy you a hot drink, and then refusing, when you asked nicely, with his 'meet and greet' comment. I don't think he knows how to treat women and is very narcissistic.

I hope you feel better, soon, and if you do see him again, maybe his attitude will be more to your liking.

Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 18987
Experience: Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
Cher and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Hi Cher, I have decided not to see him again. I can do better. Thanks.
Expert:  Cher replied 5 years ago.
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