How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Walter Your Own Question

Walter , Relationship Mentor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 11528
Experience:  Mentoring couples on relationship issue and self understanding. (JA's Relationship Mentor)
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Walter is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

ive been seeing a girl for 5 years on an off we were steaty

Resolved Question:

ive been seeing a girl for 5 years on an off we were steaty for 2 and a half years den broke it off an been kinda messin about since as her parents didnt agree wit us gettin back. we have always been madly in lv an got back three months ago only thin shes 5 months preg wit another mans bbe. i lv her so much and want to support her but were so younge as she 18 an im 21. jus need advice on if i looking at this in the rite mind an wat i could do 2 settle my familys disagrement of the situation. im jus generly confused.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Walter replied 7 years ago.



It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, though love can often find a way if both of you are willing to work on the issues in your relationship. If you can answer a few questions that would be helpful.


You said you break up, why do you keep splitting up with her?


Do you live together?


Do either of you have any other children?


Do you really deep down love her enough that you are willing to work on this?


Any other information that would be helpful?




Customer: replied 7 years ago.

we fin the 2 year relationship cos of a another fella spread rumours about me then fightin started an we split we got back bout 2 months after but her mum put a stop an said wed have 2 wait tilll she was 18 b4 we could see eachothe again so we were off once again


we kinda stayed really close over the past 2 years since den still seein other partners but never really got over eachother she has tried 2 get me back 4 a year but i was truthfully 2 scared of bein hurt again till jus b4 march when i ended another relationship and got bac wit her and an so happy.


we have no other children jus unfortently had a misscarrige togeather a while back.


im completly mad about her always have been she all i ever wanted i know it sounds stupid cuming from sum 1 of my age but i could tell u the time an place we met over 6 years ago. i want this to work an 2 be there 4 her an bbe but jus worried ill let her down and feel like i lettin my family down their big on moral standards it just causig all my confusion to increace. any advice lol

Expert:  Walter replied 7 years ago.



I don't think it sounds does not pick a good age to appear. The reality is it sounds like you really care for this girl, as far as letting her down only you can prevent that.


A relationship isn't about just running around being in love, it takes a great deal of hard work and morals. In life we always run into problems and often those problems cause us to second guess where we are in life and sometimes we make big mistakes out of fear and hurt those we love. The key is instead of allowing your fear to take over you when there is a problem you must look at the problem for what it is and solve it.


In this case your problem is two fold:


1) She is pregnant with another mans I am a firm believer it takes more then sperm to be a father. In fact I am currently raising a step son myself so I can tell you with 100% confidence that you can be this child's father if you want to be. A bond with a child does not start at conception, it starts when a man makes the decision to raise the child and be a father to the child.


Now I am not going to tell you it will always be easy, the reality is there are separate hurdles that come with raising a step child. But if you push though and treat the child as if it were your own these can iron themselves out quickly. Not to even mention the lesson you will be teaching this child about responsibility love and kindness.


2) Your family, now this is a bigger problem. The fact is they are going to worry about are their child and they want what is best for you. They know that you and this girl have had problems in the past and the reality is you both are VERY young add a baby to that and its enough to scare the crap out of any mother or father!


Try looking at it from there position........they are not giving you grief because they like to, they are honestly just concerned about what is in the best interest of their child. Which is 100% normal and natural.


Your job is to sit down and give some real thought to this whole situation. So when you talk to your parents you can explain to them about how you feel and what you want to do. Let them know how much you love this girl and while you know you are young the reality is you want to be with her.


I would also strongly caution you to take this slow.........while you can go into this with the best of intentions that does not mean she is willing to work as hard as you are. I am not saying that she isnt.......just that it is a possibility. For that reason I would suggest you both take it slow. Don't jump into living with each other, or marriage. Continue dating and being with each other.


A ready made family can sometimes be hard for both people.......and at this time she is going to be VERY emotional due to her hormones so the last thing you want to do is add any additional stress to the relationship which could cause a blow out. You can be with her and be a father to this child even without living together or being just takes a little more work. And in the end you want to go into this with both eyes open and prepared.



Walter, Relationship Mentor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 11528
Experience: Mentoring couples on relationship issue and self understanding. (JA's Relationship Mentor)
Walter and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Previous | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX

Meet The Experts:

  • Kate McCoy

    Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
< Last | Next >
  • Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist


    Satisfied Customers:

    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • Ms Chase's Avatar

    Ms Chase

    Life Coach

    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
  • Alicia_MSW's Avatar



    Satisfied Customers:

    Specializing in relationship/family counseling
  • Dr. Norman Brown's Avatar

    Dr. Norman Brown

    Marriage Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
  • Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L


    Satisfied Customers:

    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • Suzanne's Avatar


    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

Related Relationship Questions