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Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21055
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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im not talking to my oldest daughter its been 2 months

Customer Question

im not talking to my oldest daughter its been 2 months
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 7 years ago.
Hello,Customer

Are you your daughter's mother or father?

How old is your daughter?

Why are you not talking to her for two months?

Did you have an argument about something?

Thanks for all your additional detail.

Cher
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
i am her mother she accused me of snooping and said not tocome in her house anymore i am very hurt by this
Expert:  Cher replied 7 years ago.
Hello again, and thanks for your reply.

Was your daughter's accusation true? Did you snoop in her house? If so, was she home at the time? If it's not true, why would she accuse you of doing this?

How long ago did this happen?

If you could provide a few more details about what happened and what you said to each other, it will help me to understand your situation better.

Thanks,
Cher
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
i need to resolve this matter with her please help me now
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
her children told her i was doing this she believes them i am a very good person ilove my family
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
i miss them but i am afraid to confront them they are my heart and soul and it hurts me
Expert:  Cher replied 7 years ago.
Hello again, and thanks for your replies.

It's very important that you have a serious discussion with your daughter, alone (no children present), and tell her that you love her very much, would never invade her privacy, and having this dispute with her, with her telling you you're not longer welcome in her house, is very hurtful to you, and you'd like to resolve it right now.

You've raised her to be a good person, as YOU are a good person, and you also raised her with values, modeled after your own. You respect her house and her belongings and would never 'snoop'. Children can sometimes 'embellish' the truth and say things that are not quite true; if her children saw or didn't see something that might have looked like snooping on your part, assure her that you would never do that. You love her very much and would like to put this behind you, and go back to the way things were with the two of you, if you were close (it sounds like you were/are).

Give her some space, for now; don't push too hard, and hopefully, she'll come around. Don't go to her house anytime soon, (unless you're invited), if she expressed she does not want you there. Speak to her on the phone, every day, if that is your routine, and slowly but surely, I think things will go back to the way they were.

If you feel your grandchildren lied to her, that has to be addressed, as well, because children must learn at an early age, lying is not acceptable behavior.

I hope things work out with your daughter, and you can go back to the relationship you enjoyed before this incident.

Cher
Cher and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
i husband called her and yelled at her and said dont come here
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
i think shes really mad now
Expert:  Cher replied 7 years ago.
Hi again, and thanks for your reply and your accept.

YOUR husband called her (is this her father?) and said don't come here, meaning don't come to YOUR house?

Cher
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
yeshouldnt beleive her kids over her moms our home said to her she was alittle b and shouldnt beleive her kids over her mom
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
yes its her father what do i do now
Expert:  Cher replied 7 years ago.
Well, yes, the language your husband used was hurtful to her, but it's an upsetting situation, and he was surprised she would take her kids word, over yours. Tell her that her father didn't mean it, he was just defending you, and ask if she can please put this incident behind her and you can start over. Tell her you love her very much and it's very hurtful to you and sad, that she won't speak to you, so would she please reconsider, and you can try to work things out.

Ask your husband to allow you to deal with your daughter by yourself, for the time being.

Cher

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