Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP
HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:
-How long have you been together?
-Has he always lied to you or is this something that started happening recently?
-Could you explain your situation a little more?Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.
It's seems like your boyfriend has repetitive behavior where he does good for a while and then goes back to his same ways. He may be incapable of telling you the truth he seems to lie when it's to his advantage and doesn't care if his lying hurts you. If he isn't completely honest with you no matter whether it will make you mad then the two of you will never have a healthy and honest relationship especially if he is lying about dating other women. For you to be able to trust him he has to come completely clean about what he has been doing while he has been away from you. He may also need to get some counseling for his lying because it's starting to become common place for him now. If you plan on staying with him then you have to set some boundaries as far as his dating other people if you truly do not like him dating then tell him that and don't just give in because you think it's best. You have to put your foot down as to what you want and give a time limit for him to move closer to you because if things are bad now the worse it will get because he is so far away from you and if he already had an issue with being alone when he lived near you. What you should do is write down some boundaries and rules and then ask him to prove to you that he is worth you forgiving him and make one of the guidelines no more internet dating and dating other people, tell him you want an exclusive relationship if that is what you want. He is asking for your forgiveness without proving that he deserves it make him prove to you that he will live up to your expectations.
Let me give you what he sent to me in an email.I have no idea how to respond to this.....
He wrote his to me after I sent him an email.
Agreed, it sure is sad. I really would be happy for the rest of our lives if I could actually be with you. I'm sorry I continuously hurt you, never my intention .. in fact, just the opposite. But if you cant let by gones be by gones and move on from today, with a new understanding and design .. without a constant bombardment of every little detail from the past .. then we do have a problem. And if "WE" can not continue to exist, I will miss you terribly as well .. but, you have had me missing you for quite a long time now. As far as finding someone new to fill my life with love and joy? Don't think I ever will again. I'll just stick to playful friends, thank you. Looks like you'll be able to share all those things I taught you about your sexuality (that you say your happy to have found) with someone else. You wont always be sick, you'll get better .. then you'll need companionship too. Your 100% right .. you ARE a great catch! You'll finally have to use that stick you talk about to beat them all off. Really sucks that I'll miss out on the "new you" that we've developed together!I did not want this situation to occur. In my different frames of mind, I had always hoped to just get thru our separations somehow and to finally be together always .. and sooner rather then later. It's always later! I still hope we can get past this and continue to work on a future together. From this day forward, I can promise to always be on the "up and up" with whatever we choose the design to be and to always show you respect... but I will not type you an itemized list of any past faults whether they are true or just in your head. You no longer believe anything anyway. As much as I understand love .. I know I love you more then I have ever loved anyone before. I trust as much as my current self allows me too. I know there is room for me to grow in both areas. You've already taught me much and I know you could teach me more. I don't know where we go now....that's your call sweetness. William, Billy, Idiot and fool in love.
If you feel you can go on without knowing the details then he is asking you to start fresh and he promises to be true to you and do whatever you want him to do to prove that he can be trustworthy and now the ball is in your court and you have to make up a list of things that you want to see happen in the relationship and things you don't want to happen, if you no longer want him to see other people then you have to tell him that in no uncertain way should you date other people. If he truly means what he says then he will do this and if he wasn't serious and you find out yet again that he is still on the internet dating sites and wanting to meet other women for sex then it will be time for you to walk away. Like he said it's your call so tell him what you want and tell him that if he cannot stop lying this is his last chance with you .