How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask KimberlyF Your Own Question

KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
KimberlyF is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Im engaged to the woman of my dreams. But an old high school

Resolved Question:

I'm engaged to the woman of my dreams. But an old high school romance keeps coming back into my life. We both know how we feel about each other, but so much is working against us. Our religious beliefs are not compatable, my engagement, her parents etc. My engagement has lasted over a year and we've moved the date several times already. I'm not sure my fiancee wants this relationship. I'm torn between to women, one who has promised to love me till death do us part, the other just as beautiful but less likely to be forever. What should I do?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 4 years ago.
Customer

 

The best way to handle this situation is to deal with it decisively once and for all. If you don't, you are playing with a potentially explosive situation in which you might end up losing both ways.You need to really consider the facts and weigh the consequences, and see where it will affect you negatively. You need to make your decision about who you want to be with and though it may be a very difficult decision it's one that has to be made because you don't want to get married to your fiancee' only to find out you made a huge mistake and then you are left wondering what if or even losing one marriage to have another, that is why you need to postpone the wedding indefinitely and you need to do some soul searching. This is easier said then done but in the long run it is you who has to live with the choice you make so it's better to take your time and figure out what you want to do then to just go with the easier choice.

 

Your fiancee' may not be sure if she wants to marry because she senses that something is going on with you and that your feelings may not be the same as they once were and now she isn't sure if this will be forever. Call it women's intuition or call it cold feet either way she sense that you are not into the marriage as you once were and this may be why she is portraying herself as not wanting this relationship but she realizes that marriage is a huge commitment and wants to make sure that you will be in the marriage both body and mind. If you don't feel you can do that then you really need to be honest with not only yourself but your fiancee' also. You have unresolved feeling for this woman from high school and until you deal with those feeling and either find closure in the past or decide to be with her then she will always come between you and your fiancee' emotionally.

 

What you need to do is sit down and write both of their names down and then write down their qualities and what about them you love the most and see which outweighs the other you may find that you are just living in the past with the high school sweetheart and that we never forget our first love but does that mean give up everything for her? That is a question only you can answer. You also have to take into consideration your religious beliefs, her parents and would it be worth it to give up your fiancee' for her, would you truly be happy with the other women knowing everything that is working against you. In the end this is your life and the decision you make you have to live with what if you decide to break off your engagement to try with this woman only to find out you loved your fiancee' and made a huge mistake and then it's too late. You may need to stop living in the past and how the relationship was back then and realize that in the present is where you should be, you and the high school sweetheart broke up for a reason and you need to think about what that reason was and think about if anything has changed. Promising to love you till death is a big promise and you have to figure out who would keep that promise and who would let outside influences interfere you don't want to find yourself without either of them and alone in the end.

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
KimberlyF and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency