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KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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in love in exboyfriend

Customer Question

Hallo.
i am still in love in my ex-boyfriend Marcel... He is 20 years older than me, i am 29, he is 49 years old. He was in my place yesterday, we started to kiss, i was feeling so good.. We didn't have sex, i didn't want it. He left his T-shirt, what make me crazy. He went in the morning saying, he will call me in the evening. We were one year together, then next 2,5 years we met like yesterday: from time to time, kissing, sleeping together. I had two boyfriends after, but I didn't love them.
I broke up with Marcel, because he didn't love me enough. He didn't want to move with me, he didn't want to share his life with me. He told me, that i want his all freedom. And he didn't want to change his life.
and now, he told me that he likes to have sex with me and it doesn't bother him if i have other guys, just i shouldn't tell him about them!

i really don't feel strong enough to not call him, to not answer when he wants me, because i still love him so much. I am so unhappy.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

Until you can let go of this man it is going to be and always will be a never ending story and he comes back because he knows you let him come back when he wants to see you, the only way you are going to get over this is to stop all contact and not allow him to enter your life and then leave whenever he wants to. If after all of this time he still doesn't have feelings for you he probably never will and as hard as it may be to face the fact that he may never have feelings for you and treat you like a girlfriend. The reason you find yourself calling him and again and wanting to be with him is because you haven't found closure in the relationship and you're always wonder what if things would change or will he finally get feelings for me this time. You have to realize that you deserve better than what Marcel is giving you and that you shouldn't be used in that way. He will only do what you allow him to do to you so it's time for you to make yourself strong enough to let him go and find someone that respects and loves and cares for you and takes into consideration your feelings.

 

No matter how much you may want to be with him if he doesn't want a relationship with you he will not be there for you the way you want him to be. You may have sabotaged the other relationships because they were not Marcel and didn't fulfill your needs the way that Marcel could but as long as he does not want a relationship with you it will always be you sitting there wondering why he won't commit to you or why you can't make him love you. You may want to consider counseling also they can help you to find way to occupy your time so that you are not wanting to be with him like hobbies, volunteering things that you can do to get your mind off of Marcel so that it will be easier to find closure and move on from this unhealthy relationship.

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
KimberlyF and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Ann, thank you very much!

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