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Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 20850
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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My BF of 5 mo. asked me to marry him. I accepted. He started

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My BF of 5 mo. asked me to marry him. I accepted. He started acting distant, when I asked what was wrong he said nothing, a wk later I told him to tell me what was bothering him. He said he was having doubts about our age difference. I am a very young looking woman. People never believe I'm 49. He on the other hand looks his age. (62)I assured him I loved him and that the age difference doesn't matter, especially at this stage of the game. He also voiced concern about the possibility of having to take care of his elderly parents. I told him I would help of course. We hung up on a good note, but I still had that uneasy feeling. I felt like I had to convince him that I loved him. The next day I told him I wanted to talk to him. I gave him his ring back. He didn't want to take it, but I put it in his hand. I want him back, tried calling like a crazy woman for 1 week, went to his house, wrote a letter. no response. i have not heard from him at all. I'm just sick. should i keep trying?

I'm sorry you find yourself in this frustrating situation.

If he doesn't seem to want to talk to you, there's really not much you can do. You assured him you loved him and assured him that the age difference didn't matter to you, but he did sound like he was getting cold feet re: your engagement. When you offered his ring back, although he protested at first, I think you convinced him this may have been a mistake.

Even though you're not 'kids', 5 months is quite a short time to get to know somebody and decide you're compatible for marriage. Maybe this is for the best.

If you want to keep trying to contact him, wait a little bit, and then try again in about a week; that won't seem too desperate, and maybe he'll be over the shock of you returning his ring, and will consent to talk to you. If you can't speak to him in person, send him one final letter (email or snail mail), expressing your true feelings, and ask him to contact YOU, as you'd rather see him and speak to him in person so you can both get 'closure' regarding your relationship. Be as honest as possible, and tell him you still care for him and feel you made a mistake in returning his ring. He might agree to 'try again', or he might tell you he was having doubts before, and this is for the best.

I hope things work out the way you want them too!

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