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KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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My daughter moved to a strange town for the summer for a job

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My daughter moved to a strange town for the summer for a job opportunity. She is a boss for a business and the very first week she interviewed a boy same age as her 20 and hired him. Her secretary told her she noticed he could not take his eyes off of her the entire day of training. He then asked her for a date over the weekend. Since then he has called, sent nice texts to her and has taken her to dinner, breakfast , and even to his house for a movie. This has all been over less than a week. Is it possible that he is attracted to her that badly or is this way too fast?? He is from the south and a total mannerly, respectful gentlemen she says. It is like he waits to be with her. I am a little concerned about his constant attention to her , being in a strange town and all. What do you think??? She is a very pretty girl with a very bubbly personality. He is , according to her, drop dead gorgeous!!!
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

Some men from the south are a little different than anywhere else some are more tentative to their women and their needs and making them feel special. I wouldn't worry too much if your daughter feels uncomfortable then I would say something to her but I'm sure she can handle herself and he very well could be falling hard for her. Just tell your daughter you are worried and ask her not to rush anything, she knows what she can handle and what she cannot. If she is pretty and has a great personality to go with that then why wouldn't any man wants someone like that in their life and have the best of both worlds. A week is not a long time to know someone and it could be that he is using all the time to get to know her and see if she is the one, many couples during the first week are trying to spend time to see where things can go. Now if he told her he loves her during that first week then I would be a little worried but alot of men from the south look at relationship much different than men from big cities. All you can do is tell her to be careful and take things slow.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
SHE IS NOT VERY TRUSTING OF RELATIONSHIPS. SHE HAS HAD SO MANY BAD APPLES THAT SHE FEELS TRUST IS HARD TO HAVE. SHE IS DIABETIC AND WHILE SHE IS NOT FAT, SHE IS A LITTLE CHUNKY WHICH SHE IS ALWAYS SELF CONSCIOUS OF. SHE JUST KEEPS SAYING THAT BECAUSE HE LOOKS LIKE HE DOES, WHY WOULD HE CHOSE SOMEONE WHO IS OVERWEIGHT. WEIGHT HAS ALWAYS BEEN AN ISSUE WITH HER. MY CONCERN IS THAT SHE IS HIS BOSS AND IT MAKES FOR A COMPLICATED PICTURE. BUT HE IS THE ONE WHO IS DOING ALL OF THE PURSING. HE PAYS FOR EVERYTHING AND WILL NOT LET HER PAY FOR ANYTHING. HE TOOK HER TO A BASEBALL GAME AND CHECKED TO SEE WHEN A TEAM FROM OUR STATE PLAYED THAT TEAM AND THEN BOUGHT TWO TICKETS FOR THE GAME IN JUNE. SHE IS JUST NOT USED TO THIS KIND OF ATTENTION. PLUS, HE WAS HIT BY A DRUNK DRIVER LAST YEAR AND HAD A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE. I TOLD HER MAYBE HE LOOKS AT THINGS DIFFERENTLY AND APPRECIATES THINGS . I GUESS IT IS A ""MOM"" THING BECAUSE SHE IS FAR AWAY AND HE WAS A COMPLETE STRANGER UNTIL A WEEK AGO. I JUST FIND IT KIND OF ""GUTSY"" TO ASK THE BOSS OUT. AM I WRONG?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
DOES ANYTHING INDICATE TO YOU THAT HE IS USING HER???
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.

Customer

 

That is the sign of a good mother, one that worries about their daughter even when they are grown up and out of the house but as far as this guy is concerned he may have a new lease on life and doesn't sweat the small stuff and he may like a woman with meat on her bones. since he is doing all of the pursuing he was attracted to her and pursued her. Yes you're right asking the boss out may not be the norm but if he was attracted to her he probably didn't want to let the opportunity go and possibly lose her to someone else. It's important that they keep their relationship outside of work so not to get into trouble. Since he is paying for everything I doubt he is using her now if he asks her to help him advance then I would put my foot down if I were your daughter, just tell her to look for warning signs that don't sit well with her like, his behavior changing, getting too aggressive, not paying for things anymore, touchy feely at work, asking for things he didn't ask for before. If those thing happen I would suggest to your daughter to reconsider that relationship and be careful not to be alone with him at work because if things get bitter she doesn't want him to file a sexual harassment case against her.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
AS I SAID, I AM NOT A MOTHER WHO RUNS RELATIONSHIPS BUT I HAVE NEVER SEEN HER BECOME SO INTO A RELATIONSHIP AND HE OBVIOUSLY IS THE SAME SO FAST!! SHE ASSURES ME HE IS A GENTLEMAN AND VERY POLITE AND NOT PUSHY. SHE SAID THE WAY HE TREATS HER IS SOOOO DIFFERENT THAN SHE HAS BEEN TREATED BEFORE--OPENS DOORS, LETS HER GO IN FIRST, ETC. BUT I TOLD HER THAT IS THE SOUTHERN STYLE COMING OUT IN HIM. SHE LOOKS AT IT AS HE WANTS SOMETHING AND QUESTIONS EVERYTHING. I AM AFRAID IT COULD RUIN A GOOD THING IF SHE DOES NOT GIVE HIM SOME SLACK I GUESS THAT SHE JUST HAS TO GO WITH HER GUT INSTINCT. THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
AS I SAID, I AM NOT A MOTHER WHO RUNS RELATIONSHIPS BUT I HAVE NEVER SEEN HER BECOME SO INTO A RELATIONSHIP AND HE OBVIOUSLY IS THE SAME SO FAST!! SHE ASSURES ME HE IS A GENTLEMAN AND VERY POLITE AND NOT PUSHY. SHE SAID THE WAY HE TREATS HER IS SOOOO DIFFERENT THAN SHE HAS BEEN TREATED BEFORE--OPENS DOORS, LETS HER GO IN FIRST, ETC. BUT I TOLD HER THAT IS THE SOUTHERN STYLE COMING OUT IN HIM. SHE LOOKS AT IT AS HE WANTS SOMETHING AND QUESTIONS EVERYTHING. I AM AFRAID IT COULD RUIN A GOOD THING IF SHE DOES NOT GIVE HIM SOME SLACK I GUESS THAT SHE JUST HAS TO GO WITH HER GUT INSTINCT. THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP.
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

What she is going to have do is learn through his actions whether she can trust him or not, trust is earned and not given so she has to take that approach. If you are afraid she will sabotage the relationship because of trust issues then what she can do is talk to him about her past and what she went through in relationships and ask him if he isn't serious about dating her then don't hesitate to tell her before she gets her feelings involved. She can tell him all she expects is honesty and respect that is all she can ask for. Relationship are all about taking chances and she can be cautious but trusting just watch for change.

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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