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KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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WHY WILL SHE NOT GIVE ME CREDIT FOR MY READING SKILLS I HAVE

Resolved Question:

WHY WILL SHE NOT GIVE ME CREDIT FOR MY READING SKILLS? I HAVE A MOTHER- IN LAW THAT WILL NOT ADMIT I CAN READ. SHE COMES FROM A BACKGROUND WHERE SHE IS ILLITERATE. SHE KNOS FOR EXAMPLE THAT HER GRANDDAUGHTER GRADUATED FROM COLLGE. SHE NEVER BRINGS ME UP IN CONVERSATION ABOUT MY READING. I FIND THAT ODD. SHE MENTIONS THAT HER KIDS CAN READ, HER GRANDSON, AND X-SON IN LAW CAN READ. HOW CAN I TELL IF SHE IS JEALOUS?

she says I would be intillegent if "if I can cook a recipe with without using a cookbook"

Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

It could be that she just isn't thinking to mention you, I don't think she would be jealous of you and then not be jealous of others who can read. If this bothers you, you should talk to her about it she probably doesn't know she is doing it and won't know unless you tell her that she is. If she were jealous she would be jealous of other people who can read also. Maybe suggest helping her to learn to read better and this way she will know that you do indeed know how to read and are offering to help her learn. Most mother in laws don't often mention their sons or daughter in laws. If the two of you do not get along that could be a reason why she is doing this. When or if you talk to her about this try not to sound like you are scolding her but say it in a way that she know that it bothers you but you are willing to work things out.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
SHE WAS TELLING HER FAMILY I SHOULD BE A SERVANT FOR HER SON. THAT SHE DOES NOT SEE "ANYTHING" GOOD ABOUT ME. COME ONE I WONDER IF SHE TRYING TO PUT ME TO "HER LEVEL" "REMEMBER THIS LADY IS A SERVANT AND CANNOT READ.
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

You really should talk to your husband about this if it is really bothering then someone should say something to her about it. She may be threatened by you for some reason and wants you to feel like you are less than her because she may not feel good about herself and the fact that she cannot read. If you resort to name calling then you are stooping to her level and you don't want that you should always take the high road when it comes to people that aren't happy within their own skin of course they will resort to belittling someone to make themselves feel good. She has to be the one that wants to learn to read and have a better life no one can give that to her.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

I never did anything to her to feel "threaten" she "chose not to learn to read. "it is not my fault that she cannot read." HOW COME SHE DOES NOT FEEL THREATEN BY THE X-SON-LAW, HE ALSO CAN READ"

Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

It may not have anything to with not being able to read. She could be threatened by your relationship with her son, she could feel like you took her son away from her. There has to be some kind of underlying reason she belittles you to family without a reason, you may want to talk to her and ask her what you did to warrant her disliking and belittling you like she does. If you allow her to get away with it will only get worse or possibly continue.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

I HAVE TALK TO MY HUSBAND ABOUT, BUT HE IS NOT WILLING TO CORRECT HER. MAYBE HE DOES NOT WANT TO HURT HER FEELINGS. "HE KNOWS I CAN READ SPANISH AND ENGLISH, AND GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL.

 

"SHE GOT MAD IN PAST BECAUSE I WILL NOT COOK AND CLEAN LIKE SHE DOES. "I WILL COOK SOME, BUT WILL NOT LEAD HER LIFESTYLE"

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

she gets to visit her son a few times out of the year. "she IS SPOILED MY HER FAMILY". HOW CAN SHE FEEL THREATEN, WHE THEY ''SPOILED HER?"

Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

If she is Spanish then they have strong standards of taking care of family and husband, this could be the reason she downs you because you do not and will not live by her standards but what she has to realize that times have changed and alot of women especially working women do not do everything for their husbands. You have to tell her that you are not like her and that you are no less than her just because you don't like to cook alot or clean as much as she does. Women were not put on earth to be a servants to their husband that is the old way of thinking. It may have to be you that talks to her and tells her how you feel about her talking about you to the family it will make the family see you in a bad light so you should nip it in the bud now.

Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

If she is Spanish then they have strong standards of taking care of family and husband, this could be the reason she downs you because you do not and will not live by her standards but what she has to realize that times have changed and alot of women especially working women do not do everything for their husbands. You have to tell her that you are not like her and that you are no less than her just because you don't like to cook alot or clean as much as she does. Women were not put on earth to be a servants to their husband that is the old way of thinking. It may have to be you that talks to her and tells her how you feel about her talking about you to the family it will make the family see you in a bad light so you should nip it in the bud now.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
what do you mean by "nip it in the bud now?
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

If you continue to allow her to treat you this way she will continue and it will get worse for you.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

WHY DO YOU THINK THE SON WON'T CORRECT HER? SHE HAS STOP MOST OF THE BEHAVIOR, BEING 79 YEARS OLD. SHE HAS DEPRESSION, DUE TO THE FACT SHE IS "OLD FASHION" WE ARE NOT LIVING IN HER TIME. SHE IS NICE, BUT I HAD TO HAVE "PATIENCE WITH HER"

Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

She just has to realize that these days are different than when she was bought up and the son doesn't want disrespect his mother in that way that is why you may have to be the one to talk to her but try to be patient like you said and understand it's not her fault that may be the way of Spanish culture or they way she was bought up they believe in taking care of their family and husband and it's okay for you to be a different type of wife as long as it makes your husband happy.

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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