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KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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Dear candace is my relationship worth fighting for or should

Resolved Question:

Dear candace is my relationship worth fighting for or should i let the relationship die we have one child together and i have two children of my own i think he wants to be with another girl his ex? p.s i will give more details
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:

 

-What are your ages?

 

-How long have you been dating?


-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
we have been together for 3 years. im 27 and he is 23 oddly as it sounds most people dont belive me nore him when we tell them his age. we have been thru so much in the past three years we boke if off in january and he moved back to DC he said that he didnt wanna start any relationships with anyone and work on himself....now..theres a ex-girl who he still talks to till this day and they started to see each other she wanted him nack so badly that she started to do things with him and for him to prove her love and devotion for him...lol..yeah right sorry for ny sense of humor but anyway, they had sex and then he was gonna get back with her he said because she made him feel special lol ok and i know that he still loves her he told me that, that kind of love for her is a special love that he will never have for me!!! what kind of crap is that ...ok ok so we decided to try to work things out again but i thinks that she contacts him everyday and i know it because he hides it maybe thru e mail or text message. its alot more but this is it for now please responed and will you please give me some advise on what to do about her because i know and i dont wanna act like some type of hood rat beacuse im not im a mother of three but it needs to stop
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

Your boyfriend should be the one to make it stop if he knows it bothers you and if he doesn't know that then you should tell him it does. He isn't showing you much respect to continue to talk to someone he has a relationship with right after breaking up with you, he should know that it's going to make you feel a little insecure. I think you should talk to him and tell him that you won't sit back and watching continue to talk to this girl despite you not liking and that he has some decisions to make. If he isn't willing to give your relationship a fair chance and that means leaving the past in the past and that include past relationship, tell him you should be looking toward the future.

 

I would not contact that other girl because she may put it back on you and cause problems in your relationship and will make you look like an overly jealous girlfriend, if he cares about you and truly wants to be with you then he will talk to her and tell her it's not okay to talk to him every. If you feel he won't do that for you, then you have to ask yourself "Do I want someone in my life that doesn't put me first?" If it was an innocent relationship with this other woman then you would be able to read the texts and emails and since he is hiding them then he is doing it for a reason. If he will not respect you then you have to make him respect you or walk away and not look back this time and find someone that will respect you and doesn't have unresolved feelings for their ex.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

very true ok i know snooping around in his business isnt healthy for our relationship but i do i read his e mails he doesnt know it i know everything from what she send him and pictures she sends of herself and she knows that me and him are trying to work things out but she always tells him that she isnt trying to mess things up between him and i ,which i find out is bull he sends him all types of sexual poems and she also asks him for advice on other topics...now heres something that i didnt tell you i, i was an exotic dancer at one point and after awhile he couldnt stand it so i quit but i still have friends male friends too but they are JUST FRIENDS and he doesnt like it when but me i show him what i talk about but he hides or deletes all of her messages

Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

You have to realize that you deserve better than what you are getting from him if he is allowing this woman to send picture of herself that is crossing the line and it's almost like a blatant slap in the face to you when he does these things. You also have to figure out how much longer you want to allow him to do this before you tell him that he has some decisions to make or the relationship is over. If you talk to other men but your conversation is one that you could easily show him and he is still hiding all of his emails then there must be something in those emails that he doesn't want you to see. There is definitely a trust issue in your relationship so until you both can work on that you are BOTH going to have to stop communicating with other people and start communicating with each other so that you can work on your relationship without outside influences which means you BOTH have to dedicate to working on teshe issues and leave old relationships in the past and he is going to have to find closure with this old relationship with the ex or else he will always go back to her. He is going to have to tell the ex that he is trying to work on your relationship and that means that they can no longer talk to each other because whether she realizes it or not she is affecting your relationship in a negative way.

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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