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KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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hello, I have a serious dilemma. I fell in love with a man

Customer Question

hello, I have a serious dilemma. I fell in love with a man who was just supposed to help me get over another. now I don't know how to come forward with some things I said were not true about me. I never expected to fall in love with him and he with me. I expected we would just get bored and move on. not so. two years later , I am in the best relationship of my life. I am unhappy everyday because of the need to bring these truths out. NOw I know either way , we may not make it at all and I am scared to death and sad everyday. help me please
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 7 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:

 

-What are your ages?

 

-What were the lies?


-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
hello, I met him online two years ago. he is 29 i am 32. at the time i was trying to end an unhealthy relationship and I went searching for someone else. We were kinda rocky in the beginning then we got to know each other, fell in love, very compatible. In the beginningI did not mention that i was separated for three years prior to meeting him. He also isn't clear on what I do for a living.that is pretty much it. My divorce came through while we were dating. But again in my mind we were not to have lasted this long and noow i dont know what to do. we currently have trust issues because once he asked me to not speak to a male acquaintance of mine i knew for years because he was uncomfortable with the situation. I did not and said i did. i thought it was unfair. so there you have it.
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 7 years ago.
Customer

 

The lies that you told aren't really as serious as you may think they are, you being separated when you meant should not matter you were not with your husband and the marriage was pretty much over and as far as where you work depending on what you do it shouldn't be that big of a deal. Honesty is always the best policy when you are trying to have a long term relationship with someone. It is bothering you much more knowing you lied than the actual lies, I don't think he will leave if you were to tell him the truth. About the lie about the acquaintance he may be more relieved that you didn't meet him than if you did. Tell him that you wanted to see how much he cared about you and then apologize. This is nothing you cannot work through but in order to have his trust you have to always be honest with him even if you think he is going to get angry, with lies you have to cover your lies with other lies and then it's much harder to keep track of the lies that you told.

 

You need to sit him down and tell him EVERYTHING so that you can go on with the relationship with a clear conscience and know that you are not holding anything back from him or the relationship. Tell him that you were unsure about the relaitonship and a little bit insecure and that those are the reasons you lied. He may be angry at first but he loves you, you could have done worst things like cheat, been a criminal but you told some little white lies and now is the time to come clean for the sake of your relationship and making things right.

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