How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask KimberlyF Your Own Question

KimberlyF , Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
KimberlyF is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

husband has been withholding sex from me for a year now

Resolved Question:

about 2 years ago, i left my now husband because he would not commit to me. we had been together for almost 5 years. it hurt me that he was always unsure, and continued to wonder about other women. when i broke it off with him, i immediately connected with a man for a sexual fling to deal with my pain. my husband felt very betrayed when we got back together, because there was a possibility that we may get back together. he also does not trust that i had sex with another man to hurt him. i did not. he was so angry that he went and had sex with a prostitute. what made him most angry, he says, is that when he wanted me to make amends for what i had done, and to show some remorse, i would shut him down by saying, "it is none of your business. my sexuality is bigger than you. we were not together." he has not had sex with me for a year now, but masturbates. this is very hurtful to me and i get filled with rage. we push each other away. we now have a child and are married. i want to leave.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 7 years ago.


The problem may be that your husband wants you to show that you regret sleeping with someone else besides him even though you weren't together it still hurt him because he still had strong feelings for you. It may be very important for the two of you to get Marriage counseling you both hurt each other very badly and now are finding it hard to let go of the past, when you both decided to get back together you should have been able to let go of the past and work towards the future and since neither of you took the time to talk about what you did to each other so that you could move on you just hid that resentment and let it build to this point. A counselor can both help you communicate better to each other how the other is feeling and how those indiscretions hurt your relationship. Your husband slept with a prostitute to try to hurt you but two wrong do not make a right. Before you leave make sure you have done everything you can to fight for your marriage before just walking away, especially for your child.


Your husband is trying to punish you for not being sorry for sleeping with that man and that is why he is withholding sex from you, you have to tell him how you feel about that and also tell him that if things do not change or if he doesn't at least make an effort to make the marriage work then you may leave. He has to know that you are at the end of your rope and also realize that he has to fulfill your needs and vice versa. A counselor can help you to move past this but it isn't going to happen overnight it is going to take some time to work through the issues and you both have to want to do the work. You may want to think about apologizing if he feels you hurt him even though you weren't together but he has some apologizing to do also because he put your life in jeopardy sleeping with a prostitute. Think about the counseling and talk to your husband about it and see what happens. There also has to be alot of compromise in the marriage also.

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with
KimberlyF and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Previous | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX

Meet The Experts:

  • Kate McCoy

    Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
< Last | Next >
  • Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist


    Satisfied Customers:

    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • Ms Chase's Avatar

    Ms Chase

    Life Coach

    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
  • Alicia_MSW's Avatar



    Satisfied Customers:

    Specializing in relationship/family counseling
  • Dr. Norman Brown's Avatar

    Dr. Norman Brown

    Marriage Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
  • Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L


    Satisfied Customers:

    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • Suzanne's Avatar


    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

Related Relationship Questions