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KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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I am blessed with a wonderful husband and 2 amazing sons (graduates)

Customer Question

I am blessed with a wonderful husband and 2 amazing sons (graduates) I should feel grateful,which I am, but also upset with sons girfriends parents who want them to live beside them when courses finish. At present they are a short drive away from both which I am happy with. If they move there they will be nearlyXXXXXfrom us and I dont like long car journeys and would have to stay each time, which wouldnt work. Son would be fine either area, also half way, so would girlfriend. The mother and father are quietly pushing for them to move beside them and deep down I feel GF would like this too, although she would go with my son, where ever.They have to live their own life, but It is all so upsetting for my family. Any advice, Thanks.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:

 

-How soon will this happen?

 

-Do you get along with the girlfriend's family?


-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
God works in mysterious ways. Shortly after I posted my question my son was offered a post in the area where we live to do further training in his field of work. He is over the moon. His GF mother is not happy at all and has even tried to find him agency work so he can wait a year until GF finishes her course then they reaply together in her hometown. It looks like son is going to accept post. He is such a ..nice guy... he feels guilty so does GF. GF parents are good attentive,caring, protective although mother very domineering-towards daughter and family in general. Has to control or not happy! Makes family feel guilty.also manipulates in the background ,obsessive forward planning etc our lifestyles are slightly different and she perhaps feels threatened that she is loosing her daughter. This would never happen. It may all change when we are all communicating more when they are engaged. I still think GF parents will always want to feel in charge,that is what the mother is used to feeling.Until then there will be friction between us due to this location problem and competition for attention. never easy,I know. It does look like they will now be in my families area and I do not feel like I have won something,only that I genuinely think it will be good for my son and GF at least at present!
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

The girlfriend's mother is going to have to understand that her daughter is going to one day have a family of her own and she cannot be the center of her attention especially if she wants her upcoming marriage to your son to work but the girlfriend is going to have to learn to put her foot down where her mother is concerned because if she isn't careful she could end up trying to control her marriage to your son and that is never a good thing. She is going to have to learn to tell her mother no sometimes if she is ever going to have peace in her life and relationship with your son. You're right God answered your pray but try not to be cozy about the way things turned out. You can bet glad but not smug that will just add salt to the wound and for your sons sake you want to try to get along with his soon to be in-laws. There may be some bad blood if he takes the internship so they should try to smooth things over with her mother as much as possible so that her mother doesn't feel like she is losing her daughter but feels as though she is gaining a son in law. There is going to have to be alot of compromise on both sides so that the couple doesn't feel torn between the two sets of parents.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thankyou Kimbrly Ann. I agree with you answer.
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

You're welcome and good luck to you and your families. If you ever need me again please don't hesitate to come back I will be happy to help you again.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thankyou Kimbrly Ann. I agree with you answer.

I am not sure if my payement has been accepted,I needed to change my original card number etc due to original one expiring.
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
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