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KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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Hi! So I became friends with this guy after breaking up with

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Hi! So I became friends with this guy after breaking up with an ex. We've been the best of friends for three months straight always on the phone and occasionally hanging out if i asked. After this three months he tried to kiss me and i went with it and was totally thrown for a loop. We started a relationship and took each other for granted so i ended it so we can take time to see if this is for the right reasons. I'm so confused bc i want to make sure we really care for one another and it's not a relationship of convenience. Please help and share your expertise! Thanks!
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:

 

-What are your ages?

 

-How long were you friends before dating?

 

-Did he agree to break up also?


-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Hi! I'm 25 and he's 31. He's been married before and got divorced bc his ex was unfaithful. We were friends for three months always on the phone i mean like three hours a night. We both listenend to eachother and gave advice and were supportive of one another. I've had lots of boyfriends but never really gave the dating scene a chance.

 

We were dating for about a month spending waaayyyy to much time together i mean like every waking second. He even brought up marriage, kids,and just stated he could see me in his future. We were getting into the stupidest fights and he would threaten to take me home and we would hold a grudge until we went to bed. This raised a red flag for me and knew this wasn't right. I told him we need to break up and take time and slow down to really think about what's going on. He understood somewhat but then would send me roses and emails with songs and i wanted flowers when we were dating not broken up! so we see eachother everyday since i go to the gym when he works at. i tell him i need space to think and i can't help but call him and talk. I will not be intimate with him until i know what is going on or really hang out with him. I've had doubts and wasn't excited about him when i introduced him to family and friends and they now don't think he's the guy for me. My past makes me protect myself and the same with him and supposedly he didn't show his true self and be romantic and compassionate bc he has a guard up. why is this so hard!? i want to make sure we both aren't settling and it's for the right reasons. are all of these doubts normal? please help! thanks!

Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

The only thing you both did wrong was spending every waking minute together that is the quickest way to get sick of someone and feeling smothered. I don't think you needed to break up because how else will you get to know him and his likes and dislikes and quarks I think what you should have done was take things slower not seeing each other as much hang out more with friends. Relationships are always awkward at first because you are trying to get to know each other. All the doubts you are having are normal especially when you haven't had the best luck in relationships and it's good to take things slow and see if he is the man for you but you have to make that decision for yourself not your family or friends, you don't want to ever live with regrets so make sure that the final decision is yours so that you know you did what was best for you. What I suggest to you is to continue dating him but not every moment together you have to have "me time". Talking marriage after two months is a little too soon to even consider the future together just take it really slow so that you can make sure what you want and if he is what you want.

KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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