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I think it's a combination of things that are stopping her from coming to see you or you coming to see her. First of all the fact that her parents do not accept her lifestyle and then the fact that she is battling cancer she may not feel attractive enough to meet anyone right now and even though you may be accepting of anything because of your love for her she may not have great self esteem right now and the fact that her parents don't accept your relationship and the fact that she lives with them and depends on them right now with going through chemotherapy. You have two choices either you stick it out with her and be patient until she is well enough to travel or if you aren't willing to wait any longer maybe think about finding someone that is actually ready to meet you and start a relationship with you. What her parents have to realize that love knows no color, sex or social status, you cannot help who you fall in love with. Though to them dating someone from the same sex is taboo and not the normal for them so many more people accept it than maybe five years ago. She is going to have to stand up to her parent at one time or another but she may not have the strength to do so right now. What you are truly going to have to figure out is if you are willing to wait longer possibly a one or two more years and if you are not then you have to do what make you happy. We are all in control of our own happiness and if you are not happy with the relationship you are in now then you have find someone that will be there for you as much as you are there for them.
It's sounds like you are ready for some closure so that you can find someone that will appreciate you and not the financial things you can do for them. A relationship is give and take not take, take ,take. You really need to decide if you are willing to wait another two and a half years to see her. To be honest with you I don't think she was ever going to meet you and she was only using you for what you can do for her financially. I really think you need a break from the situation and everything you are going through I would suggest no contact for a while maybe a week or two give yourself time to think about everything you been through with her and what you want and if it is possible for you to find someone that will actually treat you well. Two and a half years is long enough to want to meet finally, I think she may be hiding something from you and that is why she doesn't want to meet. You have to learn your worth and feel that you deserve better from your mate and until she is willing to come out to her parents and everyone else she may not be the one for you as much as you love her and want to be with her she doesn't seem to want that same thing with you. You should really find someone that is going to respect and love you for you and not your net worth.
The only way you are going to heal from this is to give yourself time and space you have gotten so use to being there for her and waiting for her to call you or you calling her that you have lost yourself in her and don't know how to get yourself back. What you are going to have to do is to cut all contact with her while you are doing this or getting your self esteem back won't be easy because she will be there belittling you and making you feel less. I'm sure you have heard the saying "love shouldn't hurt" it's time for you to let go of the hurt (Which is your girlfriend) and get reacquainted with old friend that you use to hang out with before you met your girlfriend and get out and have fun it doesn't mean go out and find someone else it means to enjoy being with friends and going to dinner or the movies, just as long as you are out and about and not sitting at home thinking about your girlfriend, you have to show her that if her behavior continues it may mean the end to your relationship but you have to be strong enough not to call her or give into her demands.