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Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 20804
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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Hi I have a huge problem about my relationship with my partner

Customer Question

Hi I have a huge problem about my relationship with my partner i would like to have a baby and he doesn't. What should I do?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 7 years ago.
Hi Mandy,

I was hoping to get a little more information from you, regarding your ages and current situation, but I will send you my answer now, and then we can discuss it further, if you'd like.

If having children is very important to you, but your partner has expressed that he doesn't want children, you will have to do a lot of thinking re: if this is the man you want to stay with. If your love for him exceeds your desire to have a baby, then you can stay with him and live a wonderful life. If you feel your life will not be complete without having a child, and this has always been your dream, then you have to have a serious discussion with him, regarding your future, and if he tells you that he never wanted to have children and never WILL want to do this, then it might be time to think of moving on in your own life, and finding a partner who shares your dream of having a child.

I don't know how long you've been together, or when you first got serious about each other, but usually couples will discuss whether or not they both do or do not want children, when the relationship turns serious and they think they will spend the rest of their lives together.

Keep one thing in mind: if you express to him how important this is to you and he 'sort of agrees', but is not really into it, while we can't know what the future holds, one of two scenarios could play out; he could totally change his mind about babies/kids, when his own child is born, and he could be a terrific father, or he could decide he really didn't want this responsibility in the first place, leaving you to raise the child almost as a single parent, and he might resent you and the baby for preventing him from doing things he might not be able to do now, due to extra expenses, etc. You wouldn't want to live with someone who feels this way and 'blames' you for everything that's wrong in his life, because you wanted a baby. I'm trying to show you both sides of the coin, so you know what to expect, if things don't work out.

Of course, the ultimate decision whether you want to remain with your current partner is completely up to you, but you also should feel fulfilled in life, if you really want to have a baby.

I wish you much good luck and hope everything works out the way you want it to.

Please let me know if you would like to discuss this further.

Cher

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