First you need to tell him how hurt you still are that he did this to you and that you feel he doesn't care that you are hurting from this and that you are having an issue getting over this indiscretion. You may not be able to deal with this on your own because it was an emotional affair you think he may still thinks about her and is not telling you that he is, the only way you are going to be able to get through this is through one on one counseling you going alone and talking about this. If this is starting to affect you emotionally and physically then it's not healthy for you to try to do it on your own. A counselor can show you ways in which to slowly get over this and completely trust your husband again. A Mental affair can be just a damaging as a physical affair because they let the other person get into their head. Now that he is no longer at that job he feels as though "out of sight out of mind" and you are feeling as though he isn't taking your extent of hurt seriously and isn't giving you what you need to get over this pain, he cannot help you get over the pain because he is part of the pain so what you are going to have to do is either talk to someone who is on the outside looking in like a counselor or clergyman or a close friend. It's important for you to know that you can get past this pain and allow yourself to feel hurt and anger and frustration don't try to hide those feelings that is what is making you so sick but you have to talk to someone and get help for these issues.