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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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I am almost divorced from my estranged abusive husband.

Resolved Question:

I am "almost" divorced from my estranged abusive husband.   Just today his dog of 15 yrs died.    His first phone call sounded like he was just looking for support, but he has called 5 times since (wonderful invention - answering machines). Making it sound like I dont care. Should I give in and send something like an email?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 7 years ago.

If you feel badly for him losing his dog, and you feel like you want to say something to him about it, then let your heart guide you. However, decide how much interaction you want with him, and then choose the method accordingly. If you don't think the phone would work for YOU, then don't call. If you think an email is more something you can deal with, then send an email. Heck, if you don't want to hear back or interact at all, buy a sympathy card and mail it. Don't fall for the guilt trip, or the "you don't care" thoughts. After all you've been through with him, you don't owe him anything. Right now it's more important that you take care of yourself and your son, that goes for emotionally, physically and spiritually. If talking to him will interfere with you moving on, then don't do it.

I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.


Customer: replied 7 years ago.

In a way I sorta feel for him, he officially has no one left in his life. But yet, he is the one that left me standing at the border, with a 6mth baby, because he had to meet friends in three days.

Although the paperwork mess up that kept me in Canada, is a blessing. That is the only real reason I have been able to get away from him.

Expert:  Ms Chase replied 7 years ago.
It sounds like he has no one to blame but himself that he has no one in his life? I know how hard it can be to lose a pet/friend after so long, so I'm sure he is distraught. If you had any feelings for him, I know you are feeling for him, but you have to think about yourself, and how you will feel afterwards. If you think you can call him and be ok after, then that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. If you feel more comfortable with an email, then that's fine too. It's all about what makes you comfortable, before, during and afterwards.

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