My husband wouldn't touch me all these years because he said that I was to fat. That finally came out in an arguement about 5 years ago. I got sick, as I stated before, and was sick for the past 3 years. That is why I have the ugly scar. My large intestine ruptured and I had to have it removed and since I was so toxic, they had to cut me open to clean me out. If you know what I mean? Anyway, I am on the road to recovery and since this past summer I have been throwing hints to my husband about me getting some of those old feelings back. He just smiles and says good. But still no touch. My husband has had alot of back problems and was on pain medication for the longest time and he said that was one reason why he doesn't feel sexual anymore. Since I was sick, I didn't let it bother me. It made me feel better because I wasn't always thinking that he was going elsewhere to get sex. But when I mentioned to him that I was getting my feeling back, and wondered why he hadn't touched me again yet. He said that "You have to understand, I was nervous about touching for for a long time now." because of my medical problems. I thought that was pretty lame but I listened and accepted it. This happened over the summer. And still I wasn't worried about him going elsewhere. So I just kept giving little hints here and there and he wasn't falling for them. Of course I would have tried to take the initiative but in the past when I too the initiative, I got turned down and it made me scared to try again. I figured if I gave hints then he would take the initiative and try something. Since he didn't, I assumed he still just didn't have the desire. Until a week ago. I came downstairs at 3 in the morning and scared him. I didn't know why I scared him at the time but then I thought I saw him hide something. So I waited a bit and tried to think of something to make him move to where I could see what he was hiding. When I asked him to get up, he came out and said "no". But then he did get up and I saw him put something in his pocket. When I asked him what he put in his pocket, he lied and said "nothing." So I asked him what was he trying hide from me and he kept lieing. Now he knows I hate liers more than anything. So I don't understand how he thought he would get away with lieing to me. Anyway, I kept on him til I found out what he was doing. And what he was doing was "jerking off" Excuse my language. Course I got upset and said "why would you choose to go to your hand when you have a wife who is perfectly willing to satisfy you anytime?" He couldn't answer that. So I got upset and said that at least now I know that he just doesn't want me anymore and I went up to bed. Course I didn't sleep, I just cried the rest of the night. The next morning I had to get my son to school so I didn't show that I was still very much upset. When I got back my husband apoloized for what happened and we talked and I thought I got it through to his head that I just need him to want me. Not just for sex but to hold and cuddle and stuff like that. He had said that he knew he had to start to pay more attention to my needs and I really thought something was going to happen. But still nothing has happened and I get more upset each day that goes by that nothing happens. He had said that he was afraid to start something with me and not be able to finish and he knew that would upset me more. So he had suggested that he might need help professionally. I thought , wow! Maybe he really does want to try. Then we saw a commercial on Viagra, and I had said "how about that stuff?" And he said, Ok, I will call the doctor tomorrow and see what I can do. But when tomorrow came, he didn't call and when I brought it to his attention he started to say he was gonna call, then he changed his mind. Something about not wanting to explain why he needed it. So of course that upset me. So I wrote him a note about the other thing we saw on tv about Extenze. Heard of it? Well he told me to go ahead and order it because you don't need a doctor to get it. I feel like this is a problem the is all him, but how do I get him to realize that he needs to do something about it? I mean, I told him that I don't understand why he would want to go through the rest of his life with me and not have sex and he won't respond to that. So I don't know what to think. So I figured maybe if I got someone to make me look real good and sexy and take a picture of me, then maybe that would turn him on again to me. Cause he use to like all that sexy stuff. Sorry for taking so long to write everything. Hope you didn't fall asleep reading this. lol Hope you can help me in some way.
I hope you get this message. I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for taking so long to accept your answers to my questions. I was completely satisfied but it totally slipped my mind to accept so that you could be paid. I am so sorry. Luckily we get reminder emails to let us know what we still need to do.
Again, I apologize for taking so long to get you paid for your answers.
Thank you and have a wonderful Mothers Day! (That is if you are a mother)