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KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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Hello, Ive been in a relationship for 5 years now.. We have

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Hello, Ive been in a relationship for 5 years now.. We have 2 kids and I feel as things are falling apart.. I crave attention and feel like he has no interest in me anymore.. He claims that is not true.. I used to so easily see that love that he had for me.. but no longer is it obvious... Alot has happened to me mentally since we started together. I got baby blues about 3 years ago. My first child was a premature 7 weeks, she is now 4. My second child about 3yrs old is the one that I didnt want to have.. Anyways, thing just havent been the same. And I feel so alone in this.. I love both of my children with all my life and wouldnt want to lose either one of them.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
Customer

 

It sounds like you and your husband may need some outside help now and if you do not get this help your marriage may be doomed. What I would suggest to you is Marriage counseling or talk to your clergyman or possibly a marriage support group. I don't think your husband has lost his love for you I think he has just gotten caught up in taking care of the children and everyday life that he lost what made the marriage work before the children came. Maybe try have a date night possibly two night a week where it is just the two of you for a couple of hours or for the evening if you can find someone to babysit the children go out to dinner or to a movie or even a romantic night in a hotel. You have to reconnect with each other again, the marriage isn't over by the least you both just have to take some us time. Maybe even plan a weekend get away even if it's just one night a week you will be amazed what a difference it will make in your lives.

 

You can't forget that each other have needs too, you have to communicate what you want and need from him and he has to be willing to give that to you. Even though you love your children and they are your world you cannot allow them to be your primary focus you have to focus on your marriage also and you and your husband have gotten use to going with the flow of everyday life and being that you forgot that you aren't giving each other attention that is needed to keep the marriage healthy and happy and it's important for the two of you to find that again. Don't make any hasty decisions until you have exhausted all avenues. I think with counseling they can help you to communicate to each other and show each other affection and still be great parents. You should never lose all of yourself to your children there is still a little part of you that should be just for you or your husband. It doesn't make you a bad parent to have "me" time or "us" time!

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thank you very much..
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 5 years ago.
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