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20+ years as a Therapist
20+ years as a Therapist, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 746
Experience:  PhD in Psychology, Psychotherapist for over 20 years
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yeah I think i dont have sex or do anything sexual with a

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yeah I think i don't have sex or do anything sexual with a girl I feel depressed.. I am an athlete thats why sportive activity wasnt a solution for me. Moreover I feel alone, most of the girls i try to have relationship ended up not interested in me. thats why i feel like a waste of life
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  20+ years as a Therapist replied 5 years ago.

HiCustomer

 

My name is Nancy. I'd like to hear more about what's going on with you.

 

You are certainly not a waste of life... but it does sound like you are feeling pretty badly about youself. How old are you?

 

What sports do you play?

 

Nancy

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
yeah I am 22 years old. I swim and play waterpolo. I am also the captain of the waterpolo team. I am a succesfull student. But inside of me I feel really lonely... when i go out, i am able to be with the girls. But the ones i want, i usually dont have the chance to be with them. Another problem i have.. if i dont get into with any girl or any sexual activity, I feel depressed. But the fun thing about me everybody comes to me, once they have problem with their relationship, and I am able to solve their problems but not my own. My father thinks I am going to be really succesfull person, but i believe i am lazy and not worthy of any of that trust. My dream is dying young and leave all this behind. I dont want heaven or hell, I just want peacefull darkness
Expert:  20+ years as a Therapist replied 5 years ago.

So, even though you are good friends with people, are a team captain, AND a successful student you still feel down. We all go through times of feeling lazy, and sick and tired of everything going on. We feel unsuccessful with people of the opposite sex -- but the thing is, it passes. The one thing we can count on in lifeis that it is constantly changing.

 

Sometimes the best thing we can do is just to talk to someone. At my old school, we had students who we could talk to-- they were called Peer Counselors. Is there someone at your school, like a counselor or Advisor you can talk to? Maybe they have a Counseling Center?

 

Sometimes all of these feelings pass pretty quickly, but when they stick around we need to be checked out -- either by a counselor or a Doctor. Some of these feelings are just life... and we learn to get past them, but sometimes they can be caused by Depression or other medical issues.

 

Have you ever thought you might have depression? Or do you think this is just "life stuff"

 

Nancy

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
yeah if you ask me, I am friends with over thousand people. But there is a reason for that, I am coming from a well known rich family and when i go out... I have a pretty good budget to spend. As you can see, we are college students, everyone wants a friend like that to hangout. But i am smart enough to see what most of them really want. Yeah sometimes I think I have depression, but my mood is not constant, one day i can wake up really happy the other day I might be misserable. Hardest thing that i cant take is... if I were you. I hate when people says that to me.
Expert:  20+ years as a Therapist replied 5 years ago.

You can always go to a Psychologist for an evaluation if you feel you have Depression -- the evaluation is a discussion where you answers a bunch of questions about your mood, sleeping habits, eating habits and any other symptoms.

 

With your moods -- do you ever feel REALLY happy and then really sad? Could your moods be accounted for by Bipolar Disorder?

 

Do any of your immediate family have either depression or bipolar? Mom, Dad? Brothers/Sisters?

 

If not, then these sound like regular old LIFE issues -- rotten, but not the end of your world. In other words, normal. Nobody is always happy-- in fact, it's better to feel your feelings, even if they are crappy. It means that you're not dead inside-- you are a thinking feeling human being, who is just struggling meeting someone that you really click with...

 

Why do you think you feel depressed if you aren't having sex with someone? What is that about for you? Self-esteem -- like, does it mean you are not attractive to girls?

 

Nancy

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
my sister had a depression problem, but she had so many problmes that i was scared to bring out mines to my family. I lost my cousin when i was sixteen in a traffic accident. we were like brothers, we played waterpolo together and hanged out 24/7.. I am a muslim and i washed his death body with the imam. After that i never talked how i feel about this.. My fear of death died with my cousin. since than I have never had a close friend as him.
I am really interested in girls, the problem is i am so weak against a beautiful girl. I am willing to do anything in order to be with them. I am not into guys, cause i dont get attracted to them. I had pretty bad experiences with love when i was young. Two girls I loved in the past, used me as a toy. Since than I run away from love, and i usually try to be with more girls in order to run away from being in love with one of them. Also yeah now it became a self esteem thing. That is like wining a waterpolo game for me. After my past experiences I believe this quote is true " lovers gets f**ked, f**kers gets loved" but in deep down I am not a bad person, and i dont like treating girls like that. But I have no choice majority of them likes that.
Expert:  20+ years as a Therapist replied 5 years ago.

Depression can run in families, so keep an eye on your feelings. If you feel depressed more than not, on more days than not, you will want to talk to someone.

 

Death of loved ones and love gone wrong can deeply effect us. It's all about loss. It almost sounds as though a part of you was lost when you lost your cousin and your two girlfriends.

 

I laughed at your quote... that is funny... but girls who see like they want that now -- are they really what YOU want? Is that the kind of girl you really want to be with? Or do you want to be with someone who loves you for you (and not for your money or bad attitude)?

 

Your self-esteem surely will take a beating if you spend time with people who just want to either be with your because of money or because they want to be treated badly -- that doesn't really sound like you. It seems like you want more....

 

 

20+ years as a Therapist, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 746
Experience: PhD in Psychology, Psychotherapist for over 20 years
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