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KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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I told a very small lie to my girlfriend as I was embarrasses

Customer Question

I told a very small lie to my girlfriend as I was embarrasses about the answer. Now she will barely talk to me. It has been 3 weeks and still she will not forgive me. PLEASE HELP I do not know what to do. I have been nothing but nice to her and I feel like she does not even want me around. I love her so much and cannnot deal with this pain.... :(
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 7 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:

 

-What are your ages?

 

-How long have you been dating?

 

-What did you lie about?


-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
I am 30 and she is 32. I am a grad student and she is an undergard, both in art. I mmet her in November when i was home on break from school. I was in love unlike anything i have ever felt before and I have been dating for a while. Well So i live 9 hours from her and before we met i had gotten arrested for having a pipe for smoking pot on me along with public intoxication. I told EVERYONE that it was a public intoxication and that was it, including her. After a few months went by she asked me about it again and I lied again. I was embarressed. We have only been together for 6 months and for the most part it has been great. The long distance is tough but we deal with it. She had already known that I had lied and was testing me. She had looked me up on google and I had asked for legal advice about the case. Now she turns her back to me in bed, wont kiss me, or barely even touch me. when i talk to her she stares off into space and dosent even listen. She woke up this morning telling me that she had nightmares about me cheating on her with her roommate. After talking for a bit i asked her if she was ever going to forgive me or if it was going to be like this forever. She tells me she is not being this way and that i turn my back to her at night and that she does kiss me... I ASSURE you this is not the case. since she we have started dating she has always been the cuddle type since i got here on Friday she is so cold and unaccepting of me. I am supposed to be here till saturday and we are going to my friends about an hour away tonight and supposed to be going to my mothers on Saturday right before I leave. I am sitting on the couch, she is in class, with my shoes and coat on trying to figure out if I should just leave?????? PLEASE HELP ME
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 7 years ago.
Customer

 

It's more of her being hurt that you felt the need to lie to her after she has asked you to be honest. It's going to take some time for her to trust what you say now and now it has carried on to her not being able to trust you around her roommate I don't think she feels as though you have cheated with her roommate I think she feels that if she cannot trust you with telling her to truth about the pipe then what else would you lie about, you are going to have to spend all of your free time making her trust you again which means telling her the truth ALWAYS even when you think she will get upset with you be honest is much better than not being trust and her questions your motives whether good or bad. Don't leave if you love her stay and work it out make her a special dinner or take her to dinner and talk about everything tell her why you didn't tell her in the first place and tell her you would never want to purposely hurt her this way and you will do whatever it takes to make things the way it was. You have to have your action match your words which means don't say one thing and do the exact opposite.

 

Allow her to be upset and angry if that is what she has to do to work through this but you have to be able to talk this through instead of living in silence while you are there don't use this time you have together being mad at each other, you never know when it's your last time together so live your life that way. Take her to a romantic restaurant for the two of you and talk about this even if you're doing all the talking and she doesn't say anything if you are one on one she will hear what you are saying even if she acts as if she isn't. Tell her how much you care about her and that you want this to work and you don't want to lose her. Make sure you are okay with each other and at least communicating before you leave to visit friends and your mother, you don't want to go there on awkward terms and ignoring each other.

 

 

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