Thank you so much for your advice. He and I did stayed together a whole year he was gone, he came home on leave, and we stayed together for two months. Then he called and told me it wasn't fair to me. So we have both dated other people the past 2 years he was gone. He was home not very long ago and it'll be another two years before he's home again. But I really don't want to share him this time around. :) We have talked about this together and defended the relationship to others who don't understand. It sounds like he is making the effort to keep it going, but still, no official.... Does knowing this help, or change how I need to ask him again?? I sent him an email with questions to answer a month ago and he hasn't replied but we have talked MANY times since then. I feel I am nagging him or ruining what we have by making him define it.