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-How long have you been dating?
-Do either of you have children?
-Has he ever told he he wanted a committed relationship?
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Judging by everything you had said it seems like he is already committing to you, he has asked you to marry him and is taking steps to be free of the family house whereas he didn't do that before, it's just going to take some time to get everything in order and it's good that he is taking the imitative to make these huge steps that he may not have ever considered before. It seems you are allowing him to do it on his own time and when he feels he is ready which is a very good thing he will be more willing to make those major decisions on his own. I think once the two of you are living together in one house you will even each other out where he is unorganized and you are more organized it will even itself out. You are going to have to communicate your worries to him, he won't know it bothers you unless you tell him. In time you will have everything you want, it's just the here and now that bothers you the most. I think he is ready to settle down and be a married man and the fact he decided that on his own should put you at ease that you didn't have to beg him to want to marry you he figured that out on his own.
You complaints about your boyfriend seems to be mild so I don't think the two of you have anything to worry about because you compliment each other. Make plans to see each other more and don't expect too much from him because you do not want to overwhelm him since he has enough on his plate trying to get his family home ready to sell. Give it some time and things will definitely fall into place. You just have to be willing to tell him how you feel about things but yes he is ready to commit to you and yes eventually you will live together as one but it's just going to take a little bit of time. Of course your children are going to worry about you because they don't want you to get hurt but they will see how much you love him and he loves you and they will come around to appreciate your love for each other and feel more at ease. Now that he has told you that he wants to marry you don't rush him to set a date and get a ring, allow him to do it on his own since he has made the other major decisions in the relationship he will be able to do the rest make it a team effort and you will always have a healthy and loving relationship.
You're been dating 14 months so I would give it at least 4 to 6 months more and see if things have progressed on without you mentioning anything. Tell him that his actions frighten you into thinking that things are going to die down. Maybe you should tell him what you want if you do not think he will do it on his own but you don't want to pressure him into anything. Tell him that you have already raised your children and you don't want to feel like you are taking care of another child. These are things you're going to have to work through before making any major decision about the future and marriage. I think you should continue to help him stay on track and remind him of what needs to be done. You have to decide if he is the man that you want to spend the rest of your life with and if he will be a help or hindrance. I really think that the two of you will even each other out there are many women who don't know what they are getting when they get married but the good thing about your boyfriend is you know exactly what you are getting and he doesn't try to be someone he isn't.
If possible give it a two year time frame from the 14 months you been together and 10 months after that to at least have a wedding date but wait 4 to 6 months about the ring and then two years to be ready to be married and move in together. This will tell you if he is truly ready for that commitment and ready for the two of you to become one. There is a difference between "patience being a virtue" and waiting until it's too late to do anything else and then you settle for the way things are, another words you don't want to turn around and find that you have waited 5 years and still nothing but you seem to know what you want and when you want it so stick to that. Good luck to you!