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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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i have a guy thats a friend and im starting to become attached

Resolved Question:

i have a guy thats a friend and i'm starting to become attached to him. he says he's becoming attached to but i'm afraid to take it to another level because if things so workout i dont want our friendship to change. so should i take the chance?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 5 years ago.
Hello

How long have you been friends?

What are your ages?

Do you spend a lot of time together?

Do you want a relationship? Does he?

Chase
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
we've only been friends for about 2 months. i'm 24 he's 23. we dont spend alot of time together cause he doesnt live close to me. i do want a relationship he does but he's not looking for it. for him when the time is right it'll happen. but i think he's willing to take a chance with me to see what happens
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 5 years ago.
All relationships should start out as friends. There are times when things don't work out, but to be with someone you care about and to find love is considered worth it by most people. If he's hanging back a bit and saying that he's not looking for it, I would take that as a sign that he may not be ready for a relationship. I would take things slow and remain as friends unless he were to come out and say different without prompting from you. Spend time together, talk, etc. But don't push into getting involved unless he shows that it's what he wants too. If you do get involved, make sure that you're completely clear about what you're looking for. It's so easy to fall into a closeness or intimacy when you're friends with someone, but it's neglecting to set boundaries and be clear about direction that causes them to fail. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more

Warmly

Chase
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

he said that he doesnt want to hang back he left the decision to me on whether or not we should be more than friends.

Expert:  Ms Chase replied 5 years ago.
There's a difference in saying he doesn't want to hang back and saying that you are ready to get involved. You can't make the decision alone, and if you do, then if things go bad, you will have to shoulder all the blame as well. Don't allow him to put the decision on you. Talk about what he wants and what you want and see if you both want the same thing. If you can both agree on what you are both looking for then there's no problem except that not everything works out in life, and sometimes things go wrong. If you want to give the involvement a chance, then try to get on the same page. Is it intimacy? A relationship? As long as you're both moving in the same direction...things can have a chance of working out, but if you're thinking one thing and he's thinking another, it may work for a while, but it will eventually fail.

Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience: Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
Ms Chase and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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